Movie Review – The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
What do you get when you take a film such as The Truman Show (1998) and then add a horrific and supernatural twist to it?
The result is a film such as The Cabin in the Woods, a horror film that takes a group of innocent people and places them in a conspiracy much deeper and darker than they could ever imagine.
Directed by Drew Goddard, The Cabin in the Woods stars Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz and Jesse Williams as the five young adults who are unknowingly sent to their deaths at a remote cabin in the woods. The film also features Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford as two technicians who work for the mysterious corporation, and Sigourney Weaver as the Director.
The Cabin in the Woods was actually filmed in the spring of 2009 and slated for an initial release in February of 2010. However, the MGM film studio was dealing with financial problems and The Cabin in the Woods, along with 2012′s Red Dawn, were both delayed indefinitely. Lionsgate eventually acquired the distribution rights to The Cabin in the Woods, and the much anticipated horror film was finally released on April 13, 2012.
The Cabin in the Woods begins with two technicians, Gary Sitterson (Richard Jenkins) and Steve Hadley (Bradley Whitford), as they prepare for an operation of some sort. All we know is that they have a light-hearted attitude as if this sort of event is routine yet still fairly important.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Meanwhile, a group of five college students, Dana Polk (Kristen Connolly), Holden McCrea (Jesse Williams), Marty Mikalski (Fran Kranz), Jules Louden (Anna Hutchison) and her boyfriend, Curt Vaughan (Chris Hemsworth), depart on a weekend trip to a remote cabin. They have an ominous start to their trip when they stop for gas at an old gas station and the attendant, the only worker there, insults the gang and hints that they’ll have problems returning from the cabin. They pay the man and quickly leave the filling station, heading up the road and deeper into the woods. As they pass through a tunnel, we see an eagle crash into an invisible wall, foreshadowing the dangers of the artificial “world” the gang just entered.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
The gang arrives at the dusty old cabin and they head inside to take a look around the place. The charming old cabin quickly shows some of its secrets as Jesse finds a creepy painting depicting an ancient sacrifice in his bedroom. After removing the painting from the wall, he discovers that it was hiding the opposite side of a one-way mirror looking into the next bedroom. Jesse watches Dana start to undress until his conscious convinces him to alert the others about this discovery. He then switches bedrooms with Dana so she’ll feel more comfortable.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
The discovery was unnerving, but most of them shake it off and have some fun at the nearby lake. Meanwhile, back at the control center, we see the technicians placing bets for an upcoming event of some sort. The gang of five later return to the cabin and begin playing truth-or-dare. After daring Anna to make out with a menacing wolf’s head mounted on the wall, they’re startled when a trapdoor suddenly pops open. Dana “dares” herself to go down into the cellar to investigate it. Down there she discovers an old photograph of a family, presumably the original occupants of the cabin, and she begins reading aloud from the daughter’s diary.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Bingo! We have a winner!
Dana’s reading of Patience Buckner’s diary (the little girl in the old photograph), triggered the summoning of the zombified Buckner family to attack the gang in the cabin. Back at the control center the technicians celebrate the release of the monsters and anticipate them killing the college students.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
At the cabin and unaware of the approaching danger, Jules and Curt head outside to go have sex in the woods. They’re a little bit slow with participating in the act, so the technicians at the control center unleash a nerve gas to help get Jules and Curt in the mood. It works and the technicians watch as the two young lovers have sex in the woods. Just then the zombies arrive and attack them. Curt is held captive as the other zombies behead and kill Jules, making her the first victim. Curt escapes from the zombies and runs through the woods back to the cabin.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Curt makes it back to the cabin and he quickly tells the others that Jules was brutally murdered. Dana, Holden and Marty quickly believe him as the zombie finally tries to bust their way through the cabin’s front door. The gang pushes them back and locks the door. Curt then instructs them to go around and secure all doors and windows. At first he tells them to stick together, but the technicians don’t like that idea and use more of the nerve gas to get Curt to change his mind. He does so and everybody goes to their separate bedrooms to secure the cabin from the zombie family.
As Marty is in his bedroom, he discovers a hidden video camera and realizes that there’s more to the cabin than it appears. Just as he’s about to alert the others he’s grabbed through the window by a zombie. The zombie drags away Marty, presumably killing him in the woods. Dana and Holden try to zombies from breaking into their bedroom when Jules discovers a trapdoor on the floor. They descend down into this other cellar and discover that this was where the Buckners, the original occupants of the cabin, were killed. A zombie tries to get into the cellar and attack Dana and Holden, but they manage to kill them. Curt opens a secret door and finds Dana and Holden, and the three of them flee from the cabin and make it back into their R/V.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Curt, Dana and Holden drive through the woods and head back to the tunnel to escape from the area. The technicians at the control center panic as the programmed cave in at the tunnel had not occurred yet. There was a mix up in orders and the event still hadn’t occurred. The workers race and manage to detonate explosives in the tunnel, triggering a collapse of the rock wall and trapping the three college students in that deadly world.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Outside the tunnel, Curt analyzes the ravine and decides to jump across it with his dirt bike. It’s a risky jump but they’re running out of options at this point. It’s either head back and deal with the zombies and whatever else is waiting for them, or try to escape across the ravine. Curt races down the road on his dirt bike, jumps off the edge and then crashes into an invisible wall. He falls into the ravine and is killed on impact.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Disheartened, Dana and Holden get back into the R/V and head back to the cabin to make a last stand against the zombies. While driving, Holden is attacked and killed by a zombie that was hiding in the R/V. This causes the R/V to crash into the lake. Dana manages to swim out of the R/V and make it to a boat dock, but there she’s attacked by a zombie.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
That’s it. Supposedly all five of the students have either been killed or seriously maimed. The technicians and other workers at the control center celebrate the significant misfortune of the innocent victims. They’re having a great time partying as video displays show Dana trying to fight off the zombie. And then the phone rings. The people quickly become quiet as the red phone continues ringing. Only one person calls through that phone — the Director. Steve Hadley takes the call and hears the unfortunate news. Not all of the victims have died. Marty is still alive.
We see Marty suddenly arrive at the boat dock and save Dana from the zombie. He then takes her to where he was attacked outside the cabin, and Dana sees that there are more secrets in this “world.” Marty reveals a secret door that he discovered that leads to an elevator. Marty tells Dana that he thinks he can hotwire the controls and make the elevator descend. Dana is hesitant, but as she and Marty know, heading down in the elevator is their only option at this point. Dana hops into the elevator and Marty joins her.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
The glass elevator descends underground and then moves sideways. It stops a few times and Dana and Marty see a collection of monsters trapped in cages. When one of the monsters is holding an item related to the cabin’s cellar, Dana realizes that all of these monsters are connected to the cabin. Depending on whichever items was manipulated responded with one of the monsters being released to kill them.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Gary and Steve are aware of Dana and Marty in the elevator, so they have a security guard waiting for them when the elevator finally reaches the control center. Marty and Dana fight the guard and kill him when he’s distracted by a zombie’s hand. They take his gun and advance further into the control center.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Again, these actions are being witnessed by the technicians, and they send a squad of heavily armed soldiers to fight against Dana and Marty. The soldiers almost win and trap the two of them in a small control room. Dana hits a purge button and releases all the monsters from their cages. The monsters attack and quickly massacre the soldiers, coating the hallways in blood. The technicians are also attacked and pretty much everybody in the facility is killed.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – (c) Lionsgate Films
Dana and Marty find their way to a lower level and discover a temple with large stone tablets. Dana sees the different figures and realizes that each one depicted one of them at the cabin. The Director (Sigourney Weaver) arrives and explains the significance of the events at the cabin. She explains that the sacrifices are to appease the “Ancient Ones,” powerful beings who are kept in a state of slumber as long as the annual sacrifice is carried out. The stone tablets represent five different personalities: the Whore (Jules), the Athlete (Curt), the Scholar (Holden), the Fool (Marty), and the Virgin (Dana). To fulfil the ritual and appease the Ancient Ones, the whore had to be killed first and the virgin killed last, though her death is optional as long as she suffers.
The Director urges for Dana to kill Marty and complete the ritual. If the Ancient Ones wake from their slumber, they’ll rise to the surface and kill all of humanity. Dana draws a gun and points it at Marty, but as she decides whether or not to kill him, she’s attacked from behind by a werewolf. The werewolf knocks the gun out of her hand and Marty and the Director scramble for it, fighting each other in the process. Marty wins the fight and shoots the werewolf a few times, sending it fleeing in terror.
The Director recovers and attacks Marty again, trying to kill him and complete the sacrifice ritual. The zombified Patience Buckner arrives in the temple and uses an axe to kill the Director. Marty scrambles away and then pushes the two of them off the ledge into a pit with the Ancient Ones.
Marty forgives Dana for trying to shoot him, and the two of them decide to let the Ancient Ones rise and destroy humanity. They reason that if these sacrifices are required to save humanity, then they’re better off letting the Ancient Ones destroy it so they can start over again. They both smoke one of Marty’s joints as the time to complete the sacrifice expires and the Ancient Ones rise from their pit. The Cabin in the Woods ends with a massive hand erupting from underground, destroying the cabin and signalling the end of the world.
So is The Cabin in the Woods any good?
The Cabin in the Woods becomes a better and more interesting film as it progresses towards the end. The film feels like two movies in one with the first half being a cheesy, cliché filled horror film and the second part being a science fiction horror film that puts the two survivors against the sinister Director and the grand conspiracy.
Out of the film’s 95-minute running time, roughly the first hour is dedicated to the five college students arriving at the remote cabin and fighting the zombie family. This lengthy segment is filled with clichés found in many horror films, and while it’s fairly boring, we see hints that there’s a grander plot in this film. Unfortunately, about two-thirds of The Cabin in the Woods deals with the cheesy horror film element.
It’s understandable that The Cabin in the Woods is poking fun at the other horror films and standard clichés, but it’s a shame that most of the film’s running time is dedicated to this process. Once we hit the hour mark, things take a much more interesting turn for this film.
Like it was mentioned, The Cabin in the Woods is a much more evil and sinister version of The Truman Show. Video cameras are everywhere, technicians and the Director are running the show behind the scenes, and parts of the environment are under the control of the workers. Instead of being a hit reality show, this time around the victims are part of an elaborate sacrifice ritual that prevents mankind from being destroyed by massive monsters.
The last thirty minutes of The Cabin in the Woods is a dark and somewhat comedic film as the monsters are unleashed and Dana and Marty fight for their survival. It’s evil, it’s bloody, and all of humanity is supposedly killed in the end. In other words, that segment is a lot of fun for the viewers.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – movie trailer
Sadly, the fun and gore of the last thirty minutes isn’t enough to save The Cabin in the Woods. The vast majority of the film is weak, and with it being intentionally filled with horror movie clichés, it was also boring and mostly predictable. The story didn’t become interesting until Dana and Marty descended in the elevator and saw the monsters and true horrors of their environment.
(The Cabin in the Woods earned an extra half star for the murderous unicorn. That creature was awesome!)