marketing

TV Commercials and their Predictable Pattern for 2020

It’s the middle of November and we’ve already been saturated with TV commercials featuring retail companies’ favorite holiday — ummm, the holiday.  You know, the one that features a decorated tree and that old, fat guy in a red suit and his flying reindeer.

Oh, you mean Christmas?  The biggest holiday of the year that so many merchants love yet so many people will never say out loud for fear of offending people?  Yeah, *that* holiday.

We’re not here today to talk about the double-sided face that we see almost everywhere in modern marketing.  Instead, we’re just talking about the sheer amount of TV commercials that we observe throughout the year, and how predictable it is these days.  And get ready because this next calendar year is going to be especially painful with TV marketing.

November 1st – December 23rd or 24th – CHRISTMAS

As I previously stated, we’re already in the Christmas marketing season.  For many companies that started on November 1st, but a few commercials were already spotted back in the middle of October.  Just when you think that you’ve had enough of the advertising by this point, it’s going to get worse at the end of next week.  Once Thanksgiving arrives, it’s a jailbreak blitz, a full-court press to hit the advertising as hard as possible until Christmas Eve.

That’s one of the reasons why I enjoy Christmas Eve so much these days.  Not only is it a day spent with family and friends, and there’s the maximum “holiday spirit” floating through the air, but it’s also like the advertisers finally sit back and take a break.  The rush is over.  There’s no more shopping for Christmas.  The popular items are long gone, lots of inventory is low, and most stores close early so the workers can go home to their families.

I mean, it’s only like what, 53 days or so of heavy advertising getting you to let loose and spend more of your money than you originally planned, possibly going into some amount of debt in the process.  That wasn’t so bad, was it?  No, of course not!

Take a nice and relaxing nap on Christmas as 2020 is going to be one of the worst years in the history of annoying TV commercials.

Read more…

Gatlinburg, Tennessee – trip report part 9 – Diamond Resorts Sales Pitch

On Sunday morning we started the day very early.  After waking up at sunrise, showering and dressing, we had one final breakfast at our hotel.  Then we quickly loaded the car and checked out.  It was time to head home, but first we had to make a mandatory stop for our timeshare sales pitch with Diamond Resorts.

As it was explained earlier, the sales pitch was the entire reason for our almost spontaneous trip to eastern Tennessee and the Great Smoky Mountains.  Without it we would not have gone at that point in time.  But Diamond’s “free” trip offer was interesting, so we gave it a fair shot.

Diamond Resorts – Gatlinburg, Tennessee

Traffic was extremely light and the sun was still rising as we easily drove south through Pigeon Forge and quickly made our way into Gatlinburg.  Although our timeshare sales pitch meeting place was classified as being in Gatlinburg, the actual location was over ten miles away from the heart of the town.  It was a bit of a drive getting there, but we made it just before our scheduled appointment.

A strange part was that when we made our appointment for this trip, we chose the Pigeon Forge vacation option.  Our hotel was in Pigeon Forge, and that part was great.  No problems there.  But our sales pitch was not only in Gatlinburg, but it was at a place way outside of town.  Later during the meeting, the salesman did mention that Diamond did have a newer location in Pigeon Forge.  Why we weren’t scheduled to meet there, we’ll never know. Read more…

Bumble & Serene Williams Super Bowl Commercial – It’s Not About Equality

Last night my wife and I were watching the Super Bowl featuring the Patriots versus the Rams.

Yes, for those of you wondering, I’ve eased up on my NFL boycott from last year.  While I’m still not anywhere close to ever wearing any team apparel (or selling it on eBay in my online store), I’ve been casually watching games this past season, though mainly as TV background noise while I’ve been working.  My TV antenna works great for picking up games on the local broadcast channels for free.  Neither the NFL or its main sponsors will still (intentionally) get a single penny from me.

Anyway, early in the Super Bowl there was a TV commercial starring tennis champion Serena Williams.  I’m definitely not a fan of hers, but being interested in marketing, I still watched the advertisement to see what product they were pushing on us viewers.  And the end result was . . . rather confusing.

Serena Williams: Bumble Commercial

What in the hell is Bumble, and what does that have to do with Serena Williams basically telling girls to go out there and be fiercely aggressive in life?  As it turns out, the message in the commercial and the product being sold are at two different ends of the spectrum. Read more…

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee – trip report part 3 – Wyndham timeshare sales pitch

As it was mentioned in the previous article, after we arrived in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, and checked into our hotel, we went across the street to check out The Island.

The Island – Margaritaville – 2018

Before we left, we looked online and saw a few places that we wanted to visit.  We thought that one of the places was at The Island, but when we got there we couldn’t find it.  We then went over to an information stand and inquired about it to one of the workers.  The worker was unfamiliar for this particular place were were looking for (it turns out that it was a few miles away — our mistake!), but she did start asking us about our trip in general, and if we already had tickets to attractions.

Okay, no big deal.  Obviously she’s able to sell us tickets if we wanted to purchase any.  What she asked next took us by surprise.

The worker asked something similar to, “Would you like to go to a dinner show for free?”

What’s the catch? we wondered.  She informed us all we had to do was attend a timeshare presentation for Wyndham, and then we’ll be awarded with two tickets to basically any dinner show of our choosing.  We don’t particularly care for dinner shows, so we asked if we could instead get free tickets for local attractions instead.  She said sure, that wouldn’t be a problem.  As long as the total cost was less than $100, then she could make it happen. Read more…

Holiday Light Saver (Tangle-Free Christmas Lights Storage System) – A Marketing Review

For most people, late November and early December means that it’s time to haul the Christmas (errr, holiday) decorations out of the attic, basement, or garage, and to then decorate the house in an appropriate manner.

It’s fun, it’s entertaining, it helps spread the Christmas spirit (HOLIDAY!  I really meant to say holiday spirit.  Really.), and the larger number of lights that you use means the bigger your manhood.  Or something like that.  Whatever it really means, we all know that the more decorative lights that you use, then that much more time will be required to keep them all neatly stored and organized.

That’s what brings us here today.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) – (c) Warner Bros. – Clark Griswold needs some help untangling his Christmas lights.

For most people, the biggest problem with decorating for Christmas (Dang it.  That should really be “. . . decorating for the holidays“) is simply dealing with the Christmas lights (Holiday lights!!!  I should really pay more attention to my typing!  Somebody has probably become offended at this point.)  In January it’s very easy to pull down the lights and simply toss them into a plastic tub with the other strands of lights.  They’re then forgotten until late November when it’s time to decorate the house again.  That’s when we realize just how much we’ve forgotten that it’s actually frustrating and time consuming to untangle all of those strands of colorful lights.

Bob Rivers – “The Twelve Pains of Christmas” – original music video

It’s no wonder that “Rigging up the lights!” ranks as the second “pain” of Christmas in Bob Rivers‘s classic Christmas comedy song, “The Twelve Pains of Christmas.”  Sometimes it’s challenging enough just to hang up the lights *without* trying to untangle them.  Good grief!

Anyway, depending on your methods of organization and/or storage, dealing with the Christmas lights (HOLIDAY lights!  I’ll get it right at some point.) can be a breeze or a royal pain in the Arsch.  It’s just a matter of time before somebody, somewhere, creates a new method of storing those dang lights, a method that will (hopefully) make it so much quicker and easier to deal with the lights.

What’s this?

Holiday Light Saver website — www.HolidayLightSaver.com

The Holiday Light Saver?

Can this really be the answer to the problem of figuring out an effective way of storing Christmas lights (Whoops!  I really meant to say holiday lights.  Honest.)?

an older TV commercial for the Holiday Light Saver

Let’s take a look and review the advertising for the Holiday Light Saver.  In this case we’ll be using the TV commercial on display at the product’s website (www.HolidayLightSaver.com).  Does this look like a useful product, or does it look more like a scam?

Holiday Light Saver TV commercial – Decorating the house Griswold-style.

The advertisement for the Holiday Light Saver begins with an image of a house covered with Christmas lights.  At least, I’m assuming that we’re looking at Christmas lights here.  Neither the advertisement or the website specifically mentioned *Christmas* lights, but rather “holiday” lights.  Since this doesn’t really look like a Hanukkah or Kwanzaa display, I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it’s most likely for Christmas.

Anyway, using lights is a common way to decorate your home for the holidays.  It’s festive.  It’s fun.  And at night they usually look great.

But for many people, there’s a tiny little problem when it comes to Christmas (Yeah, I know, I know.  Holiday.) lights . . . Read more…

Catch Caddy (Car Accessory Organizer) – A Marketing Review

While stuck in rush hour congestion on the flyover ramp from I-285 to I-85 north in metro Atlanta, you can’t help but cringe at the solid wall of cars in front of you in an endless train of glowing red brake lights.

It’s the middle of August.

The kids are back in school, it’s still hot and muggy outside, and the afternoon rush hour traffic has returned with a vengeance.  During the summer break traffic wasn’t too bad as many of the commuters were off the roads to take those family vacations you hear about.  Now that school has resumed, so has the higher amount of traffic on the roads, making both the morning and afternoon traffic jams that much worse.

Thankfully, your trusty, 1984 edition of the Pontiac Phoenix is still chugging along just fine.  In the back of your mind you know that those other drivers starring at your 30-year-old car are just jealous.  They wish that they had a prized symbol of General Motors’ engineering and assembly from the early 1980s.  Just last week you had to turn away three different collectors who were interested in purchasing your luxury wagon.  Nope.  This freshly waxed, metallic blue car is all yours.

The windows have been rolled down and a quick breeze effectively cools the interior of the car.  However, just as the breeze ends, the stifling heat returns.  To make matters worse, your stomach is growling and sitting next to you in the passenger seat is a to-go bag of food from Checkers.  You were hoping to make it home before eating dinner, but it looks like traffic isn’t going to allow it today.  As the mouth-watering scents from the food infiltrate your nose, you know that it’s a losing battle to keep resisting the urge to eat in your car.

Maybe I’ll eat just a few of the fries, you tell yourself.  It’s just a matter of self-control.

Your stomach growls in anticipation as you delicately reach into the bag of food and grab a handful of their famous hot fries.  The fries aren’t really spicy, but they have a solid crunch and a tasty flavor.  How the term “hot” was attached to them still isn’t clear.  Whatever the reason, they just taste great.

The moment the first couple of fries enters your mouth you go through a mental transformation.  Your eyes glaze over as your mouth is suddenly overwhelmed by the flavor, the warmth, and the crunchiness of the hot fries.  There’s some quick chewing and then swallowing of the food.  And then a single word enters your mind:   MORE.

There’s no resisting as your hand subconsciously reaches into the to-go bag from Checkers and grabs another handful of hot fries.  This time the fries are forcefully shoved into your waiting mouth.  Your jaws snap shut and graze your retreating fingers, accidentally nipping one of them and drawing a few drops of blood.  That doesn’t register in your mind as you reach into the bag for even more of the addictive fries.  There’s no pain from the bite wound.  There’s only an obsession for more of the Checkers hot fries.

While your foot is still standing on the brake pedal, you reach into the bag, remove the container of hot fries, and then unceremoniously dump them into your gaping mouth.  It’s as chewing frenzy as you simply cannot chew and swallow the food fast enough.  Several of the smaller fries bounce off your face as you continue pouring the rest of your hot fries and scarf them down like there’s no tomorrow.

Suddenly the container of fries is empty.

That’s it.  Game over.  No more hot fries until next time.

In a fit of rage you crumble the empty fry container and launch it out your open window.  As the garbage sails off the overpass and onto the traffic below you, your alternate personality slowly eases out of your body, giving your normal self full control once again.  It’s over.  You’re in control again . . . for now.

The interior of the 1984 Pontiac Phoenix tells a different story.  Crumbs cover the front of your shirt, there are drops of blood on the center console and the passenger seat, and a few of the smaller hot fries litter the floor.  Some of them even fell between the seat and the console, into the so-called “black hole.”

If only there was a way to save those last few hot fries, you tell yourself as your eyes begin to water from the wasted food.  Just a few more bites.  That’s all I want while sitting in this miserable traffic.

But wait!

Catch Caddy website — www.CatchCaddy.com

Just the other night you remember seeing a commercial for just such a product.  It was called the Catch Caddy.

an older TV commercial for the Catch Caddy

Could such a product actually work?  Can such an accessory like that help save those occasional French fries from falling into the dreaded “black hole” next to the seat?  Let’s review the advertisement and see if this is something worthwhile, or if it’s more of a scam.  NOTE – We’ll be reviewing the advertisement on the product’s website and NOT the slightly older YouTube video.

Catch Caddy TV commercial – Oh no! Not the black hole again! $&#@!

The advertisement for Catch Caddy begins with a problem that has affected most drivers at one point or another — losing an item to the “black hole.”  No, not that hole that you discovered in the restroom wall last month.  The BLACK hole, a region in the car between the seat and the center console.  Items that fall down there are normally hard to reach, and sometimes they end up underneath the seat. Read more…

Stretchkins (Stretching Kids’ Toy) – A Marketing Review

It’s another day in the summer and your kids are yet again sitting on the couch and playing video games.

As they periodically pause the game and grab a handful of potato chips and wash it down with another gulp of soda (followed by the traditional belch), you can only wonder how your precious little snowflakes transformed into couch warriors.  It wasn’t long ago that they used to enjoy playing outside in the sunshine, enjoying each day to the fullest extent possible.  Now that they’ve piled on the pounds of fat, and merely picking them up and giving them a hug has a good chance of straining your back.

Is there any way to get your fat kids off the couch and get them to exercise, or at least move their arm and leg muscles more than their bowels?

Stretchkins website — www.Stretchkins.com

What’s this?  Stretchkins?  A toy that can help get those lazy kids off the couch and to dance around and exercise?

an older Stretchkins TV commercial

Is it true?  Is there a faint glimmer of hope that an item can get the kids off the couch and to jump around and play, for at least a few minutes?

Perhaps there really is some hope for America’s future.  This almost sounds too good to be true.  Let’s take a closer look and review the advertising for the Stretchkins and try to see if this really is a useful product, or if it’s more of a scam.  We’ll be examining the commercial that plays on the Stretchkins’ website, and NOT the YouTube video.

Stretchkins TV commercial – It’s Stretchkins time!

The TV commercial for Stretchkins begins with a call to action by a woman telling kids that it’s Stretckins time.  Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!  I can hardly contain my excitement knowing that it’s now Stretchkins time!  I certainly hope that the product can live up to all of this hype about “Stretchkins time.” Read more…

Apple iPhone 5s – Strength – TV Commercial

One of the latest television commercials for Apple’s iPhone 5s shows average people using the phone to help them exercise, both with the exercise and recording one’s progress.

This TV commercial has been aired numerous times during coverage of the 2014 World Cup.  For those of you wondering, the song in the catchy commercial is called “Chicken Fat.”

Apple iPhone 5s – Strength – TV commercial

When seeing this commercial, I can’t help but cringe and wonder if people really do exercise that way, keeping track of their progress with what appears to be pinpoint precision and accuracy.  I honestly don’t know about just how precise and accurate it is, but this is an Apple product and it’s expensive.  Therefore I *assume* (yeah, I know) that it *probably* lives up to the hype in the television commercial.

Don’t get me wrong here.  I do like technology and the way that it continually advances at a fast pace.  My main concerns are when A) Said technology is used against everyday people, and B) When people are too dependent on said technology, and they live their life around it.

When you exercise at the gym, is it really necessary to have a program on your phone basically count the reps for you or show you how to do exercises?

How about when jogging or swimming laps at a pool?  Do you really want your phone (and basically “Big Brother”) keeping track of your every movement? Read more…

StufZ (Stuffed Burger Maker) – A Marketing Review

Dinnertime is nearing and once again you’re out of ideas.

Last week you had some hamburgers topped with slices of Spam and head cheese.  While that combination proved to be incredibly tasty, you’re still wondering if it could somehow be enhanced.

But how can you do that?

Should you mix the Spam and head cheese into the burger patty?  That might work, but you’re just as likely to lose the individual tastes of the hamburger, the Spam, and also the head cheese.  It would be ideal to keep the toppings with the burger but not physically mixed into the burger meat.

What if the burger meat was wrapped around the toppings, like a stuffed burger?

That idea sounds so crazy that it might just work.  But how do you quickly make a stuffed burger without getting too frustrated or creating a mess?

StufZ website — www.BuyStufZ.com

What’s this?  The StufZ?

StufZ TV commercial

You mean to tell me that it’s both easy and fun to create stuffed hamburgers?  Awesome!

Let’s take a closer look at the StufZ’s advertisement and see how this is being sold to us, the general public.

StufZ TV commercial – Chef Brian Duffy wants you to make your boring burgers more fun and exciting.

The StufZ television commercial is hosted by celebrity chef Brian Duffy.  As some of you may know, Brian Duffy is one of several chefs featured on the reality show Bar Rescue.  For those of us who have never seen the show, this guy’s identity really doesn’t matter.  He’s an enthusiastic person who wants to liven our meals.

The television commercial begins with Brian Duffy explaining the concept of not just a hamburger, but rather a stuffed burger.

That’s right.  A stuffed burger.

It’s a hamburger patty wrapped around a bunch of toppings.

Brian claims that the concept of the stuffed burger is actually a growing trend across the country.  I’ve heard of the Jucy / Juicy Lucy (a burger stuffed with cheese) in the Minneapolis area, but that’s only after seeing it featured on food-themed television shows.  Otherwise, I haven’t heard any other talk of this alleged craze of stuffed burgers, as delicious as it sounds.

Perhaps there’s a reason for that. Read more…

My Spy Birdhouse (See-Through Birdhouse) – A Marketing Review

Throughout the spring, summer and fall it’s common to see birds outdoors.

Our avian friends come in a variety of species, colors and sizes.  They also make nests in a variety of places, whether it’s in a tree, in a bush, underneath an overhang on a house or other type of structure, and pretty much anywhere they can find safety.

Hell, the birds will even nest inside of airplanes.  Part of the walk-around preflight ritual involves inspecting the interior of the engine’s cowling to make sure that no birds decided to claim it as a home.  I never saw any birds nesting in engines during my flying days, but obviously it’s been a problem for other aviators, or else it wouldn’t be part of checking the aircraft before flight operations.

Bird watching is a safe and calm hobby for many people.

We watch the birds, and they keep an eye on us.  There’s this mutual agreement that as long as we are respectable to one another, then there won’t be any conflicts.  After all, we *all* know that a pissed off bird can easily strike back in the foulest of ways . . .

So what can you do to help stay on the good side of our feathered friends?

One option is to simply put a bird feeder out in the yard.  The birds will love it, but the squirrels will probably enjoy it as well.  It takes some careful planning to make sure that *only* the birds have access to the bird seed.

Another option when it comes to appeasing the birds is in the form of a house.  Bird houses come in all shapes and sizes.  Building a bird house used to be a rite of passage for teenagers in shop class and/or the cub scouts.  Do they still build those today?

Wouldn’t it be interesting to actually see into a bird house and observe the birds as they build a nest, lay eggs, and raise the hatchlings?

My Spy Birdhouse website — www.MySpyBirdhouse.com

I don’t think so, but apparently other people do.  That’s where the My Spy Birdhouse comes into play. Read more…

Lumi Dough (Glow-In-The-Dark Modelling Clay) – A Marketing Review

Almost everybody has played with Play-Doh or other types of modelling clay when they were younger, whether it was something for art class in school or just when playing at home.

It was always fun to open a fresh can of the modelling clay and build creations.  Some people were very artistic and natural when it came to sculpting and bringing ideas to like.  For others of us it was more difficult to make anything look decent.  Most of the time we simply rolled out segments of clay, stuck them to each other, and saw what happened.

It’s similar when drawing with crayons.  Some people will draw a lifelike portrait while others could barely manage to draw stick figures.  But as long as you’re drawing and having fun, then that’s what counts, right?  Sure, until you enter the real world where people have realistic expectations and you’re expected to meet or exceed them.

Anyway, playing with modelling clay is normally fun and it helps you develop your creativity.  I’m sure that it’s also more entertaining than sitting in front of a television and playing video games.  But what if playing with modelling clay could also be done in the dark?

Really?

Lumi Dough website — www.LumiDough.com

The answer lies with Lumi Dough, modelling clay that also glows in the dark!

Lumi Dough website – glow-in-the-dark version — www.LumiDough.com

Did you say that it glows in the dark?  Holy f*ck!

Lumi Dough TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look at the advertisement and try to see if this is a real product or a scam. Read more…

Glow Pets (Glowing Stuffed Animal Pillow) – A Marketing Review

What do you do when your kid is scared of the dark?

One such option is called “Shut up and deal with it, or I’ll give you something to cry about!” (SUADWIOIGYSTCA).  Although SUADWIOIGYSTCA is somewhat controversial, this method of yelling and threatening the kid with violence if said kid does not stop complaining can still achieve the desired results.  Just don’t go around bragging about SUADWIOIGYSTCA or you may have to deal with Child Protective Services.  Then nobody wins.

Another option is to simply leave on a light or have a nightlight in the kid’s bedroom.  Simply leaving on a light may add up to a costly electric bill, and having just a nightlight may not provide that comfort factor that the child desires.  Unless you step in and do some parenting, then the kid is still going to be upset in the dark.

Option number three involves purchasing some sort of light up or glowing toy for the kid to play with at night.  Since this is going to regularly occur at bed time, it’s preferable that the toy be something soft and cuddly that the child can have in bed.  We don’t exactly want the kid to be playing with hard objects or sharp edges, especially when asleep.

So what’s soft and cuddly that also glows in the dark?

Glow Pets website — www.GlowPets.com

What’s this?  A Glow Pet?  Did somebody up there hear our pleas for help during such dire times?

Let’s take a closer look at the Glow Pets’ advertisement and try to see if this is honest or really a scam.  NOTE – While there are Glow Pets TV commercials on YouTube, the official website has a different advertisement.  This review is only going to examine the commercial hosted at the official website, www.GlowPets.com.

Glow Pets TV commercial – It glows!  And it looks like a pet!  Amazing!

The Glow Pets’ TV commercial begins with a quick jingle telling us that not only are the pillows fun, but apparently “. . . Glow Pets are awesome!”  We’ll be the judge of that claim. Read more…

Flashlight Friends (Stuffed Animal w/ Flashlight) – A Marketing Review

As we know, most children enjoy playing and sleeping with stuffed animals.

The stuffed animals can pose as imaginary friends, or they can simply be silent companions.  It’s a friendly face and a soft body that’s welcoming to many younger children.

We also know that children also enjoy playing with devices that create light, such as flashlights.  You give a kid a flashlight and a slightly dark area, and they’ll have fun for hours.  Or until the flashlight’s batteries finally run out of power.

But what if you were to combine a flashlight with a stuffed animal?

Is such a concept even possible?  I mean, can you just imagine the level of excitement a child may have when playing with both a stuffed animal AND a flashlight?  Wow.  The mere thought of that simply blows away my mind.

Believe it or not, but somebody out there created such a concept.  It’s called the Flashlight Friend.

Done correctly, this could actually be a great product that’s both fun and useful.  On the other hand, if this is something poorly assembled, cheap, or just greatly exaggerated with the advertising, then it’ll fall into the category of most as-seen-on-TV products and be a waste of time and money.

Flashlight Friends TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look at the Flashlight Friends television commercial and see just what they’re trying to sell us here.  SPOILER ALERT — There is misleading if not outright false advertising in this TV commercial.

Flashlight Friends TV commercial – How do we really know that they’re friendly?

The Flashlight Friends television commercial jumps right to the product itself.  Here we’re shown a rather interesting product of a flashlight combined with a stuffed animal.

We know that children love stuffed animals.

We also know that children enjoy playing with flashlights.

But is this really a useful product?  Is the flashlight real or just a glorified nightlight? Read more…

Ruggies (Reusable Rug Grippers) – A Marketing Review

Laying on the hallway floor is your arch nemesis.

It looks innocent enough, all soft and furry, but you know the truth.  One misstep and you’ll be in the hospital.  Stepping on it wrong probably won’t kill you, but living with a broken neck certainly isn’t a pleasant thought either.

Cautiously you approach it, hoping that luck is on your side today.  You know that this problem has only grown worse over the years, but your laziness has prevented you from finally taking care of it.  Knowing the risks you proceed to step closer and closer to it.

And then your foot makes contact.

This time it doesn’t budge.

You breathe a sense of relief and continue walking down the hallway.  This most recent encounter is a victory for you, but what about next time?  It’s still going to be there.  It’ll be there next time and so on until YOU decide to finally do something about it, you lazy bum.

No, I’m not talking about the pet cat and his habit of biting and scratching whenever people step on him.  I’m talking about that rug that you placed on a wooden floor.  You know, that small rug that tends to slip and cause you to lose your balance half the time.

So what can you do about the rug and preventing it from slipping or tripping you?

Duct tape is an answer.  So are a bunch of nails.  You can even use a bunch of glue and really secure that rug to the floor.  Of course, such options will probably ruin both the rug and the floor.

Ruggies website — www.BuyRuggies.com

What’s this?  Ruggies?

Ruggies TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look and see just what the advertisers are trying to sell us.

Ruggies TV commercial – This rug does a great job of hiding the chalk outline of the previous resident.

The Ruggies television commercial begins by showing us a fairly nice rug inside of a woman’s home.  This particular rug appears to be of decent quality.  Higher quality rugs are often thicker and much less probable of sliding on your floor, being a walking hazard, or having their corners curl upwards.

As if we didn’t know, the advertisement informs us that rugs can really help compliment a home’s decorations.  Last time I checked, paintings, plants and even aquariums can help do that as well.

But what if you have a cheaper or flimsier rug, like most of us? Read more…

Perfect Bacon Bowl (Bacon Cookware) – A Marketing Review

Bacon.

That one word can inspire the hunger in almost any man.

The mere mentioning of the word conjures images of bacon cooking in a skillet.  You then visualize the sound of it frying along with the aroma of the prized food itself.

Mmmmmm. Bacon.

Of course, some of today’s advertisers take this obsession to the extreme, indicating that people, men in particular, simply go crazy for the food.  As we know from reality, this is often not the case.  Bacon *is* something enjoyed and craved at times, but it’s not like guys are drawing swords and going to war over bacon cooking in the kitchen.

Traditionally, bacon is cooked in a frying pan / flat top, in an oven, or in a microwave.  Bacon is almost always cooked in strips, and most of the time it’s served that way as well.  Bacon might also be chopped into smaller pieces for use as a topping or to be placed inside of another food item. When it comes to eating bacon by itself, or having it on a burger or sandwich, bacon is almost always served flat and whole.

But what if the bacon itself could form its own serving container?

Perfect Bacon Bowl website — www.BuyPerfectBacon.com

What’s this?  The Perfect Bacon Bowl?  Is such a concept really possible?

Perfect Bacon Bowl TV commercial

Didn’t that just look awesome, or what?  Let’s take a closer look and see just what we’re being sold with the Perfect Bacon Bowl.

Perfect Bacon Bowl TV commercial – IT’S BACON!

The Perfect Bacon Bowl TV commercial begins by shooting right for the bleeding obvious.  Apparently everybody out there loves bacon.  That is, those people who, A) Are not vegetarians, and B) Are not involved in any religion(s) that forbid eating pigs.  Perhaps an exception to this would be eating turkey bacon, but everybody knows that turkey bacon is not real bacon.

The point here is that we all love bacon.  It’s a delicious but guilty pleasure as too much of the food has a deadly side effect.  But the occasional piece or two of bacon is safe to enjoy.  Just keep it in moderation, folks, unless you want coronary or cholesterol problems.

We’re not here though to hear warnings about how too much bacon is bad for your health.  We want to know how to make bacon an even better part of our meal. Read more…

Bell + Howell Torch Lite (LED Flashlight & Floodlight) – A Marketing Review

A pleasant evening at home quickly transforms into chaos when the power goes out.

One moment you’re cleaning the cat’s litter box and scooping his poop into a garbage bag, and the next you’re slinging the poop blindly across the room.  Hopefully at least *some* of it is landing in the garbage bag, but it’s anybody’s guess at this point.  What you could really use right now is not just a flashlight, but something capable of illuminating more of the room.

Perhaps even a floodlight.  Obviously it has to run on batteries as the power is out, so anything needing a power outlet is pretty much useless.  Now if only there was such a flashlight being sold today . . .

Bell + Howell Torch Lite website — www.BuyTorchLite.com

What’s this?  The Bell + Howell Torch Lite?

Bell + Howell Torch Lite TV commercial

Doesn’t that look neat, or what?

At a glance the TV commercial for the Bell + Howell Torch Lite looks pretty handy.  But when we take a closer look at the advertisement, something far different takes shape.  Is this commercial a fraud?  Does it have a lot of intentionally misleading or false advertising?  Let’s take a closer look and review it.

Bell + Howell Torch Lite TV commercial – Is that an energy orb haunting your home, or a pitiful excuse for a flashlight?

The television commercial for the Bell + Howell Torch Lite begins by showing us an example of an “average” flashlight.  Of course, in this case, the flashlight looks like one of the crappiest that you’ll find in the market.  The advertisers chose a terrible light to make their product look much more superior by comparison.

Obvious question:  If our flashlights suck as badly as the one in this commercial, what can we do about it?

Wait for it . . . Wait for it . . . Keep waiting for just a little bit longer . . . Read more…

Wow Cup (Non-Spill Sippy Cup) – A Marketing Review

As we all know from experience, it takes a certain amount of patience and dexterity to drink from a cup WITHOUT spilling its contents.

It’s tempting to rush when handling cups and taking a drink, but nobody likes cleaning up the mess when it spills.  This goes double or triple should the drink spill on something expensive like a laptop or tablet.

But what if you’re one of those people who just has a really tough time handling cups?  What if it’s tough to use cup technology such as lids and straws?  Is there something out there that can help you take a drink AND not make a mess while doing so?

Wow Cup website — www.WowCup.com

What’s this?  The Wow Cup?  Really?

Wow Cup TV commercial

So . . . . . is this just a sippy cup designed for adolescents?  Let’s review the advertisement and see just what they’re trying to sell us.

Wow Cup TV commercial – Wait a second.  What’s the name of the product again?

The Wow Cup TV commercial begins by shoving the product right in our face like we’re stupid.  Is it really necessary to use a huge font for a product as incredibly simple as this one?  Apparently so according to these advertisers.

Remember, the louder and more direct the advertising, then the dumber that the advertisers think you are.  The theory is that they’re being loud because they need to get your attention.  If you’re not paying close attention, then they believe that you’re stupid, even if they’re pushing an equally idiotic product. Read more…

Micro Touch One (Double-Edge Safety Razor) – A Marketing Review

Shaving has been a grooming habit since stones were sharpened into knives thousands of years ago.

While the electronic age has introduced conveniences such as electric razors, many people still prefer to use a metal blade as their instrument for shaving.  These razors can be in the form of a straight razor, a safety razor, a cartridge razor, and the cheap, disposable razor.

Micro Touch One safety razor website — www.OneRazor.com

Here we have the Micro Touch One, a double-edge safety razor being marketed as the preferable way to groom.  Let’s take a look and review the Micro Touch One’s TV commercial and see how it’s being presented as a great way to shave.

To view the TV commercial you’ll have to visit the Micro Touch One’s website.  As of this article’s publishing, there isn’t a good version of the commercial on YouTube.

Micro Touch One safety razor TV commercial – Hey, kids!  It’s Rick Harrison from TV’s ‘Pawn Stars’!

Promoting the Micro Touch One double-edge safety razor is none other than Rick Harrison from one of TV’s hit reality shows, Pawn Stars.  Pawn Stars is a reality show based in a pawn store in Las Vegas, Nevada.  Rick is one of the hosts along with his father and Rick’s son.  The people are all history buffs, and most of the time the seem to know what they’re talking about when it comes to quality and great values.

Just remember that in Pawn Stars we also see the darker side of them as they try to coax the sellers into as low of a sale price as possible.  Knowing that, is Rick going to be completely honest with us viewers in this advertisement?

The Micro Touch One’s commercial begins with Rick Harrison introducing himself and telling us a little bit about his pawn store.  This establishes some credibility with him appearing to know what he’s talking about when it comes to cool items and good values. Read more…

Aqua Rug (Shower Mat / Carpet) – A Marketing Review

It’s another early morning as you stumble your way into the bathroom, barely missing the cat as it peacefully sleeps in the hallway.  It looks up and gives you a dirty look for nearly stepping on it again.  Then the cat does a big yawn before lowering its furry head and drifting back to sleep.

Why can’t my life be more like that, you can’t help but wonder.  Sleeping all day on carpeting and furniture without a care in the world.  The carpeting part rings through your mind again as your bare feet step onto the cold, hard tile of the bathroom floor.  The tile happens to be extra chilly this morning as it’s still winter and your home’s thermostat was only set to 62 degrees.

%&$ tile!  Why can’t I just have carpeting everywhere throughout the house?  Why hasn’t somebody invented a carpeting for the shower yet?  I want comfort!!!

You step into the steaming hot shower and place your feet on the hard tiles.  And then it hits you like a ton of cat poop.  Somebody did invent a carpet for the shower and bathroom.  Just last night you saw it advertised in an as-seen-on-TV commercial.

Aqua Rug website — www.BuyAquaRug.com

It’s the Aqua Rug!  According to the advertisement, now you can have that ultra-luxurious lifestyle of having a carpet in your shower!  No more standing on a hard surface while washing your body!

Aqua Rug TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look at the Aqua Rug advertisement and see how it’s being sold to the general public.

Aqua Rug TV commercial – Who in the world would put carpeting in their shower?!?

The Aqua Rug TV commercial begins with product pitchman Tim Goewey loving the feeling of carpeting on bare feet.  He seems quite perplexed though at the thought of putting carpeting in the shower.  Nobody would ever be that dependent on constant comfort that they would put carpeting in a shower, right? Read more…

GoGo Pillow (Cell Phone & Tablet Holder) – A Marketing Review

The combination of a spicy dinner finished with ice cream and washed down with an icy cold cola can be dangerous.

At least, it can be dangerous for those of us with stomach disorders.

While the meal itself was delicious, you know that the after effects can be a bit, um, hostile, if you know what I mean.  Sometimes it’s worth it though if you’re craving a meal like that and don’t have it very often.  Every once in a while you don’t mind sitting on the can and suffering from the horrors of diarrhea after a really tasty meal.

Thankfully, we have items such as cell phones and tablets to keep ourselves busy while “dropping anchor” on a “porcelain cruise.”  As you try to balance your expensive tablet on your legs and prevent it from slipping between your thighs and making a splashdown amongst the floaters and sinkers, you can’t help but wonder if there’s a better way of doing this.  Maybe there’s such a product to make it easier to hold your precious entertainment while performing a massive evacuation from your bowels.

GoGo Pillow website — www.GoGoPillow.com

What’s this?

The GoGo Pillow?  Could it really help us in those hours of need when we desperately need some way of holding our tablet on an uneven surface?

GoGo Pillow TV commercial

Hmmm.  Maybe there’s some potential with this tablet accessory.  Let’s take a closer look and review the advertisement, perhaps even seeing if we can discover any faults along the way. Read more…