Movie Review – Varsity Blues (1999)

In western Texas, high school football is life.

Released in 1999, Varsity Blues takes a look at living in the small (fictional) town of West Canaan, Texas, and the town’s obsession with high school football.  The head coach of the football team has been with the school for the past thirty years, bringing them two state titles and twenty-two division titles.  But as we see in Varsity Blues, it takes more than a cruel and abusive coach to win a football game.

Directed by Brian Robbins, Varsity Blues stars James Van Der Beek as John “Mox” Moxon, an academically-gifted football player who dreams of leaving Texas and pursuing a college degree at an Ivy League school.  He’s the second-string quarterback and takes over the team when the starting quarterback is injured during a game.  Jon Voight also stars as Bud Kilmer, the head coach of the West Canaan cougars football team.  Coach Kilmer has been with West Canaan for thirty years and brought football glory to the small town.  He’s a hard coach who will do whatever it takes to win.

Supporting them are a cast of characters including Paul Walker as quarterback Lance Harbor; Ron Lester as offensive lineman Billy Bob; Scott Caan as wide receiver Tweeter; Amy Smart as Julie Harbor, John’s girlfriend; Thomas F. Duffy as Sam Moxon, John’s father; and Ali Larter playing the role of Darcy Sears, a cheerleader who likes to seduce the star players.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

Varsity Blues begins about halfway through the football season at West Canaan High School.  West Canaan is a small town in western Texas where the local football players are treated like royalty.

Up first we’re introduced to John “Mox” Moxon (James Van Der Beek), the second-string quarterback for the West Canaan coyotes.  Mox is popular and has a girlfriend, but he aims for something more in life than just football.  He knows that he’s not going to have any playing time on the football field.  Instead Mox focuses on academics and he’s waiting to hear from Brown University.

Mox’s father, Sam (Thomas F. Duffy), has different beliefs.  He’s a former West Canaan football player from the early days of Coach Kilmer’s career at the school.  Sam believes that his son should be starting on the team, and he instructs his son to pray for playing time in the games.  On Fridays in the fall, Sam’s complete focus is on that night’s high school football game.

Outside of Mox’s home we meet Billy Bob (Ron Lester), a large offensive lineman for the football team.  He’s been playing football with Mox and the other guys since they were pee-wees.  Billy Bob is a large guy who also has a pet pig, Bacon.

After picking up Mox, Billy Bob drives to Lance Harbor’s (Paul Walker) house.  Lance is the starting quarterback for the football team, and a billboard outside of his home proudly advertisers the All-Texas star football player.  Lance has already accepted an offer to play football next fall at Florida State University.

Riding with everybody in Billy Bob’s pickup truck are Tweeter (Scott Caan) and Wendell Brown (Eliel Swinton).  Tweeter is one of the team’s wide receivers and a bit of a wild man, while Brown is one of the running backs.

The high school holds a pep rally for the coyotes and their upcoming game against the Bingville bulls.  Coach Bud Kilmer (Jon Voight) helps fire up the students and reminds him of his years of football success there at West Canaan.  This season he’s striving to win his twenty-third division title for the school.  After Coach Kilmer’s speech, Lance Harbor takes his turn and enjoys all of the attention in the spotlight.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

After the pep rally, Mox spends some time with his girlfriend, Julie “Jules” Harbor (Amy Smart), Lance’s younger sister.  Jules isn’t exactly a fan of the football program, and Mox and her are both counting down the games until the season is finished.  After that it’s no more football, no more Coach Kilmer, and hopefully for Mox, acceptance into Brown and no more small town life in West Canaan.

It’s Friday night and the West Canaan versus Bingville game is about to begin.  Before the game we see the players preparing themselves for the upcoming battle on the football field.  A brief scene shows Mox discovering that Lance Harbor needs injections in his knee to help stop the pain.

The game commences and it goes well for the coyotes.  It goes so well that Mox spends his time reading a book while pretending to be reading the team’s play book.  Coach Kilmer spots Mox not paying attention when a wild pass goes his way.

At one point in the game Billy Bob takes a hard hit from two defenders, and he’s knocked unconscious.  He allowed his team to score a touchdown, but it came at a heavy price.  Billy Bob awakens and he manages to walk off the field, pleased to know that his team scored the touchdown and iced their victory.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

After the game, Coach Kilmer takes Mox aside and expresses his displeasure in him not paying attention to the game.  He tells Mox that he’d already have cut him from the team had his father not played so hard for him twenty years ago.  Coach Kilmer takes Mox’s book and tosses it to the side.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

The players celebrate at a house party that night.  There’s plenty of beer around the place as the high school students have fun.  The head cheerleader Darcy Sears (Ali Larter) hooks up with Lance Harbor, and the two of them have sex in the laundry room.  Mox hangs out with Jules, and Billy Bob becomes intoxicated after losing in a drinking game.  Outside the house, Tweeter meets a former player from the class of 1980, and he embarrasses the alumni in front of everybody.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

The next day at football practice, Mox tries to run an advanced formation with the second-string offense.  Coach Kilmer berates Mox for not following instructions and not using his head on the playing field.  Watching from the sidelines, Mox’s father is disappointed when his son is continually yelled at by Coach Kilmer.  It doesn’t help that the other fathers rub it into his face, especially Lance’s father, Joe (Richard Lineback).

There’s a cookout that afternoon with the Moxon and Harbor families.  The two father drink, and eventually Sam tells Joe that he thinks that Mox is a better quarterback than Lance.  The two sons are forced to prove their throwing abilities in a contest.  Mox is furious with his dad’s behavior, so he throws a bullet pass right and intentionally breaks his father’s nose.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

In school, the students are in Miss Davis’s (Tonie Perensky) biology class.  The topic is sexual reproduction, and Mox shows off his knowledge of nicknames for the male anatomy.  Billy Bob goes to the bathroom to splash water on his face, and when he returns to class he promptly collapses.  Coach Kilmer visits him in the school’s clinic, and he believes that Billy Bob can still play football.  He talks him into continuing with the practice sessions and preparing for their next game.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

The next Friday night arrives and the coyotes are playing against the Greenville hornets.  It’s late in the fourth quarter and Greenville is up by four points.  Billy Bob is visibly tired on the sidelines, but Coach Kilmer still sends him into the game to help protect the quarterback.  On the next snap Billy Bob collapses and the defense sacks Lance Harbor.  Lance injures his knee and has to be carried off the field on a stretcher.

The stadium is speechless as the All-Texas star quarterback is wheeled away on a stretcher.  Now all of the hope for not only the next division title but merely a winning season relies on the shoulders of John Moxon, an untested second-string quarterback.  Sam is the only smiling face in the crowd as his son prepares to take the field.  As Mox gets ready to play, Coach Kilmer suddenly has a change in attitude.  Now he supports Mox and tells him that he has faith in the quarterback, and he’ll support him.

Mox takes the field and shows everybody his ability to play quarterback.  He throws a deep pass and then helps the team score the game-winning touchdown, keeping their winning streak alive.  The crowd is overjoyed that their back-up quarterback can play like a winner.

That evening, Lance’s parents, Darcy, Coach Kilmer and Mox all go to the hospital and wait for Lance to come out of surgery.  The surgeon emerges and informs the family that Lance’s knee had a large amount of scare tissue.  He shouldn’t have been playing with a knee that bad.  Coach Kilmer slithers his way out of responsibility by lying and stating that Lance never informed him of having any knee problems.  Lance is going to need more surgeries to repair his knee, and he won’t be able to play football for at least another year.  Lance’s family is devastated as this most likely means the end to Lance’s football scholarship to Florida State University.

Darcy isn’t too sentimental over Lance’s injury.  She asks Mox to give her a ride to a party, and she changes her clothes in his car while he’s driving.  Mox chooses not to participate in the party because of Lance’s condition.  Darcy is upset and tells him that he doesn’t always have to do what’s right.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

The party proceeds and at some point the local police arrive.  Tweeter distracts the cops and then steals their patrol car.  He eventually finds Mox sitting outside of a store and tries to get him to go joy riding with him.  Tweeter has picked up some younger girls from their school, and everybody is naked in the police car.  Mox is tempted but elects to remain behind.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

It’s another Friday and this time the West Canaan cougars are playing on the road against the Waynesboro broncos.  Mox is now the starting quarterback, and his team dominates during the game.  They crush the broncos and now the town has full support of him as quarterback.  A news reporter interviews Mox after the game, and we start to see Mox enjoying his time in the spotlight.  Jules also notices this change and she’s not too happy seeing her boyfriend become more arrogant.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

The focus of attention continues as Darcy tries to seduce Mox.  She invites him to her home and strips naked and covers her private areas with whipped cream, her infamous “whipped cream bikini.”  Her routine almost works until Mox gains control of his emotions.  He tells her that it’s not right as he doesn’t love her, he doesn’t want to hurt his friend Lance, and he doesn’t want to betray his girlfriend.  Darcy is hurt that Mox turns down her seduction and makes her look like a fool.

The next day in school, Mox talks to Brown and learns his true thoughts about Coach Kilmer.  It turns out that Brown is just Kilmer’s whipping boy and is never allowed to score touchdowns.  Throughout his career at West Canaan he’s only scored three touchdowns, only because he broke for over twenty runs on each of those carries.  Otherwise, whenever the team advances to the red zone (the last twenty yards before the goal line), the ball always goes to somebody else and Brown is never chosen to score any touchdowns.  He informs Mox that his own mother has been doing college recruiting for him, and Grambling is interested in seeing him play ball.  Did Coach Kilmer make any calls to colleges on his behalf?  Nope.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

On Thursday evening, Mox treats the players, including Lance Harbor, to a trip to a strip club.  The drinks are on the house that evening, and the players spend all night drinking while watching the naked women perform on stage.  One of the highlights is when they discover that their biology teacher Miss Davis also works as a stripper.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

By the time the guys finish drinking at the strip club, it’s seven in the morning and the sun is already rising high on a new day.  They struggle that day in class and have even a harder time when playing football that night against the Elwood wildcats.  The wildcats have a bad team this season, but they beat the snot out of the sick and unrested cougars.  The cougars lose the game badly and Coach Kilmer’s perfect season is out the window.  After the game he yells at the players for making such a poor decision of drinking and partying on the previous night.  Coach Kilmer verbally abuses Billy Bob and kicks him out of the locker room while still blaming him on the loss of Lance Harbor.

After they return home, Mox and his father get into an argument about playing high school football.  While his father worships the opportunity to play ball, Mox is completely opposite.  He tells his father that he doesn’t want to live his father’s life.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

Mox’s little brother brings in Bacon and says that Billy Bob just dropped him off, claiming that Mox would know how to look after him.  Mox knows what that means.  He finds Billy Bob at their high school football field.  Billy Bob is drinking heavily while shooting at his football trophies with a shotgun.  He’s intending on committing suicide.  Mox talks him out of it by telling Billy Bob that they really need his help this Friday during the final football game of the season.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

The next day Mox receives the letter that he’s been waiting for.  He’s been accepted into Brown University, and the college is providing him with a full academic scholarship.  It’s his dream.  It’s his ticket out of West Canaan, Texas and towards a better life.  While his mother is thrilled for her son’s academic success, his father still seems more concerned about West Canaan football and the next game.  He tries to talk to Mox about the upcoming game, but Mox is disgusted and walks away from his father, telling him to “Tell [him] who wins.”

Coach Kilmer still has a way of convincing John Moxon for playing to his full ability in that last game.  At the team’s last practice session, Coach Kilmer informs Mox that he’s having people re-check his grades, and they can easily change them and cause Brown to withdraw his scholarship.  All Mox has to do is play well and win the coach another division title, and then he’ll be free to leave the program and follow his dreams.

Mox meets with Jules and tells her about his feelings towards Coach Kilmer, but she shrugs it off as not being a big deal.  Mox wants to stop Coach Kilmer from winning and thus denying him from another division title, but doing so will cost him his scholarship.  On the other hand, if Mox leads the team to victory then Kilmer wins and the town will continue to enshrine him, allowing him to continue with his self-centered and aggressive tactics.  Jules tells him to stop whining and step up and play the role of a hero.

It’s Friday night again and the last game of the season for West Canaan High School.  A win tonight against Gilroy cowboys means the twenty-third division title for Coach Kilmer and a possible shot at the playoffs for the state championship.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

Coach Kilmer fires up the team and they begin their final game.  The coyotes march down the field and are poised to score a touchdown.  Sure enough, Kilmer calls for somebody besides Brown to carry the ball into the endzone.  Mox changes the play and Brown runs in for a score.  The team continues playing well until Brown injures his knee prior to halftime.

Varsity Blues (1999) – (c) Paramount Pictures

In the locker room, Coach Kilmer tries to have Brown take a painkiller shot in his knee so that he can play again in the second half.  Mox sees this and tries to stop Kilmer.  When Kilmer accuses him and the others of not knowing what it’s like to sacrifice for the team, Lance Harbor appears and proves the coach wrong.  He also convinces Brown not to take the shot.  It’s not worth it injuring his knee like Lance did.  Mox and the other players threaten to quit the team right there if Kilmer has Brown take the shot.  Coach Kilmer finally backs down when he realizes that he no longer has control over his football team.  The players have fired him as their head coach.

Brown does not take the shot, and the players take the field without Coach Kilmer.  Lance Harbor steps up and calls plays for the team, becoming their new coach.  Mox changes the offense and uses five receivers, essentially converting to a spread offense.  They also call the plays from the line and increase the speed of the game, keeping the cowboys’ defense on their heels.  This works and the coyotes score a touchdown.  At the end of the fourth quarter the coyotes block a punt and then use a trick play, having Billy Bob carry the ball into the endzone for the game-winning touchdown.

Coach Kilmer is busy cleaning out his office as his former team wins the game and earns their twenty-third division title.

Varsity Blues ends with Mox doing a voice-over and telling us what everybody has done since that season in football.  Brown was accepted to Grambling, Lance started a career as a football coach, Kilmer never coached another football team, and Mox went to Brown University on a full academic scholarship.

So is Varsity Blues a good movie?

For the most part I enjoyed this film.  Sure, it’s a typical high school film that glorifies athletes and their poor behavior, and there are some of the usual clichés throughout the film, but Varsity Blues is still a fun football movie.

The film has a great cast, the action is there, the film has a few classic moments (such as the whipped cream bikini and the teacher moonlighting as a stripper), and the soundtrack is full of late 1990s rock music.

Varsity Blues is not a perfect film.  It’s certainly not going to win any awards outside of the world of MTV.  Shut off your brain and you’ll be more likely to enjoy this film.  That is, as long as you can handle the profanity, nudity, and scenes with disobedient teenagers while the police and authorities look the other way.

One of the odd things is the inconsistency with the name Tweeter.  It’s spelled that way in the closing credits, but on his uniform it’s spelled “Tweeder.”

Varsity Blues (1999) – movie trailer

Fans of football and cheesy high school comedies will find themselves right at home with Varsity Blues.  Don’t expect to find anything dramatic like Friday Night Lights, or a football film that pushes social issues like Remember the Titans.  This is a music video-like film full of heavy metal, drinking, profanity, and hard-hitting football.

Coach Bud Kilmer – “You got to be the dumbest smart kid I know.”

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Charlie Tweeder – [after stealing a cop car] “I’m gonna go to jail!”

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Mox – “Playing football at West Canaan may have been the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don’t want your life!”

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Mox – [after Kilmer left the locker room after choking Moxon] “Before this game started, Kilmer said ’48 minutes for the next 48 years of your life.’ I say f*ck that. All right? F*ck that. Let’s go out there, and we play the next 24 minutes for the next 24 minutes, and we leave it all out on the field. We have the rest of our lives to be mediocre, but we have the opportunity to play like gods for the next half of football.”

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This article was originally published on August 28, 2013.