Movie Review – Alien vs. Predator (2004)

It can be argued that the Alien creatures from the Alien films, and the Predator hunter/ warriors from the Predator films are not only the most horrific, but also the most fierce and lethal creatures in the world of science fiction.

But which creature is the best in the galaxy?

That’s a question that sci-fi fans have been debating since the late 1980s and the emergence of the Aliens Versus Predator comic books.  In 1986 the movie Aliens showed us how a squad of Colonial Marines and all of their firepower was wiped out by a nest of Aliens and the Queen Alien.  In 1987 the movie Predator showed us how an intergalactic Predator easily killed most of a group of commandos.  But what would happen if a Predator or a small team of Predators took on a group of Aliens?  Who would emerge as the victor?

The 2004 film Alien vs. Predator attempted to answer that question.  In Alien vs. Predator, a small group of humans are used as pawns so that the Predators can fight the Aliens in an ancient ritual as a rite of passage.  The only catch is that if the Predators lose, then *everybody* will lose.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - movie poster

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – movie poster

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, Alien vs. Predator stars Sanaa Lathan as Alexa Woods and Lance Henriksen as Charles Bishop Weyland.  For the rest of the cast, you might recognize a face or two, but it’s doubtful.  Virtually all of the secondary characters are nobodies in Hollywood.  But that’s not necessarily a negative on the film itself.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator begins on October 10, 1904, at a whaling station in Antarctica.  We see as one of the workers runs in terror and tries to hide in a building.  He thinks that he’s safe until a Predator extends its razor claws and approaches.  Just as the Predator is about to kill the man, suddenly an Alien jumps out and attacks the Predator.

Fast forward to today (2004).

When the low Earth orbit Weyland Corporation Satellite PS12 passes over Antarctica and detects an unknown heat bloom on an island just off the coast of Antarctica.  The information is passed through Weyland Corporation and the company’s founder and CEO, Charles Bishop Weyland (Lance Henriksen), organizes a team of people to investigate it.  He uses his extensive reach (and funds) to recruit a team of specialists including an experienced ice explorer named Alexa Woods (Sanaa Lathan), an Italian archaeologist named Sebastian De Rosa (Raoul Bova), and Dr. Graeme Miller (Ewen Bremner), a chemical engineer.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

The team is flown to the Piper Maru, an ice breaker off the coast of Antarctica functioning as the staging area for Weyland’s expedition to the island.  There’s a briefing for the mission and Weyland informs the group that there may actually be an ancient pyramid buried underneath the ice.  It’s a pyramid that looks similar to pyramids found in other ancient civilizations from around the world.  Deep underneath the pyramid is a central core, though its purpose is unknown.  Nor is it known why there is a heat signature emitting from the island as well.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

Alexa expresses doubt about being able to safely lead the team to and from the underground pyramid.  Weyland offers to send her back home on a helicopter, but Alexa changes her mind.  When she learns that the team’s replacement guide has little experience on the ice, she chooses to stay and help.

That evening the Predators’ spaceship approaches the Earth and then fires an energy beam at the island off the coast of Antarctica.  Why it fired the weapon is unknown at this point.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

Meanwhile, the Weyland expedition gathers its gear and then makes an amphibious landing on the island.  They quickly arrive at an abandoned whaling station and explore the buildings.  The team also discovers a smooth shaft that somebody drilled through the ice.  It made a tunnel that slopes 30 degrees down and goes all the way to the pyramid beneath the ice.  Oddly enough, according to the satellite data, this tunnel did not exist the previous night.  Somebody or something had drilled it overnight without anybody noticing.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

The team assembles a cable device and then makes the descent down the long tunnel.  They reach the bottom and quickly discover a massive pyramid that’s been buried beneath the ice.  Inside the pyramid they find evidence that this pyramid is connected to other pyramids around the world.  Sebastian is able to translate some of the hieroglyphics and learn some of its history.

Back on the surface, the Predators’ spaceship silently lands during a winter storm.  Three Predator warriors disembark and easily kill the workers stationed in the whaling station.  One of the workers flees and makes it down the ice tunnel, but he’s later killed down there by one of the Predators.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

Inside the pyramid, the team discovers a room deemed the “sacrificial chamber.”  It’s noted that the human remains were not restrained when the people were sacrificed.  It’s believed that they chose to be there as an honor to their gods.  It’s also noticed that the bones on their rib cages are all broken outward as if something erupted out of them.  In a connecting room lined with human skulls, they discover the fossilized remains of a facehugger.

Down in the central core of the pyramid, an Alien Queen is woken from her state of hibernation.  The Alien Queen is restrained to a machine and forced to lay eggs which are sent out of the room on some sort of ancient conveyor belt.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

Another room is discovered beneath the sacrificial chamber, so the team is split with half of them staying and the other half continuing with the exploration.  The second group (including Weyland, Alexa and Sebastian) reaches the lower rooms and discovers a sarcophagus.  Sebastian unlocks the sarcophagus and they find three advanced weapons.  They take the weapons for further analysis on the surface, but removing them from the sarcophagus triggers the pyramid change and start a chain reaction that will doom everybody.

Inside the sacrificial chamber, the doors are sealed closed and several eggs are raised into the room.  The eggs open and facehuggers jump onto the humans, impregnating them with the Alien embryos.  These embryos quickly grow and it’s not long before they burst out of the people’s chests, violently killing the people.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

Meanwhile, the three Predators have infiltrated the pyramid and entered it before the doors were sealed closed.  They reach the weapon room and discover that their weapons are missing.  The Predators quickly located the group of people and they attack them.  During the brief fight the pyramid changes again and more passages are revealed.  Some of the people in the expedition are separated and cut off by the moving walls.  As the people cautiously move through the tunnels they’re attacked by the Aliens.  Some of the people are killed while others (including Graeme) are taken away and cocooned to be another human sacrifice.  Graeme is later used as a host for another Alien, and he’s killed when the Alien bursts from his chest.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

In another room other members of the expedition are fighting (and losing to) the Predators when suddenly an Alien attacks and kills a Predator.  Another Predator sees the Alien and the two of them fight.  The Alien is injured but it wins the fight and kills the Predator.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

The rest of the group is trying to flee from the last Predator when Weyland sacrifices himself to buy time for Alexa and Sebastian to escape.  The Predator catches Weyland, but when it uses its advanced vision to scan the man, it sees that Weyland’s lungs are damaged and, thus, Weyland is an unworthy opponent.  The Predator lets Weyland go and continues after the other two people.  Weyland isn’t giving up without a fight.  He makes a small flamethrower and tries to burn the Predator.  This effectively gets the Predator’s attention and the space warrior easily kills Weyland.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

The pyramid changes again and Alexa and Sebastian barely make it past a series of moving walls, and they escape from the pursuing Predator.  In the next room Sebastian translates more hieroglyphics and learns that the Predators have actually been visiting the Earth for thousands of years.  Back in ancient times the Predators taught people how to build pyramids, and the people worshipped the Predators as gods.  A rite of passage developed where every 100 years the Predators would visit the Earth and human would sacrifice themselves to be hosts for the Aliens.  These Aliens were the “ultimate prey” for the Predators to hunt and earn their prestige and honor as warriors.  Should the Aliens overwhelm and threaten to “win” the battle, the Predators would activate their self-destruct weapons and wipe out the Aliens as well as the surrounding human population.  This allegedly answers why some ancient civilizations seem to have disappeared overnight.

Sebastian deduces that the heat signature that the Weyland satellite detected was just a way of the Predators to lure human beings to the pyramid.  It was all just one big trap.  Without the humans, there would be no hosts for the Aliens and no hunt for the Predators to earn their prestige.

Alexa thinks that their only hope for survival is to work with the Predator and give him back his weapon.  It’s not them that the Predator is hunting.  It’s the Aliens.  If the Aliens kill the Predator, then he’ll use his self-destruct weapon and kill everybody anyway.  When the door opens again, she going to return the gun to the Predator.

When the pyramid changes and the doors open, waiting for Alexa and Sebastian is not the Predator but a couple of Aliens instead.  The creatures chase them to a broken bridge, and Alexa and Sebastian have to jump across it.  Alexa lands short and clings to the side, but when Sebastian tries to help her he’s attacked and carried away by an Alien.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

Alexa is now on her own as she walks through the pyramid.  She soon locates the Predator and tries to give him back his gun.  While doing so the Predator is attacked by an Alien.  The two creatures fight, but the Alien soon shifts its attention on Alexa.  The creature jumps at her, and Alexa defends herself with the Predator’s spear, causing the Alien to impale and kill itself.  More Aliens arrive and the Predator uses his gun to kill them all.  The Predator then cuts apart one of the dead Aliens and uses parts of the creature’s body to make weapons for Alexa.  The two of them then work together to fight the remaining Aliens.

Meanwhile, some of the Aliens have reached the Alien Queen, and they use their acidic blood to break her bonds and free the massive creature.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

Alexa and the Predator continue through the pyramid and they discover Sebastian cocooned and impregnated with an Alien.  Alexa shoots Sebastian in a mercy killing, and the Predator kills the Alien when it bursts from Sebastian’s chest.  They then notice the group of eggs containing a bunch of live facehuggers.  The Predator removes his self-destruct device, activates it, and then tosses it into the room.  Alexa and the Predator then make a run for it out of the pyramid before the device explodes.

When the two of them reach the ice tunnel and the sled, they’re attacked by an Alien.  The Predator is wounded but Alexa uses the Predator’s gun to shoot and kill the Alien.  They then jump onto the sled and outrun the shock wave and explosion from the Predator’s self-destruct device.  The two of them barely make it back to the surface before the fiery explosion reaches them.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

On the surface, the Predator honors Alexa by using the acidic remains of an Alien to make the markings of a warrior on Alexa’s face.  Suddenly they’re both attacked by the Alien Queen.  Before the explosion, Alexa had noticed that at least one of the Aliens had climbed the ice tunnel ahead of them.  The Alien Queen kills the Predator, and Alexa ultimately kills the Alien Queen by tying a large weight to her and pushing it, and the Alien Queen, into the icy water.

After the Alien Queen is dead, the Predators’ spaceship opens and more Predators appear.  They collect the body of their dead colleague and take him back on board their spaceship.  Alexa is recognized as a warrior, so she is given one of the Predators’ spear weapons as a sign of respect.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - 20th Century Fox

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – 20th Century Fox

What the Predators don’t know is that earlier in the battle, the now-dead Predator was earlier attacked by a facehugger.  He was impregnated by an Alien embryo.  Alien vs. Predator ends with the Alien bursting out of the dead Predator’s body on the spaceship.  This new Alien a new creature, is a cross between an Alien and a Predator.

So is Alien vs. Predator a good movie?

Yes and no, mainly no.

For starters, Alien vs. Predator had some interesting concepts and fun moments, such as the setting in Antarctica, the pyramid itself, and the Aliens and Predators hunting and killing each other.  Some parts of this movie were simply a lot of fun to watch.

Unfortunately, that just about does it for the good moments.  The story as a whole is where most people have a problem with this movie.

For starters, it doesn’t seem right to place the events here on Earth and during today’s times (remember that this was set ten years ago back in 2004).  Technically, this film takes place between Predator 2 and the rest of the Alien movies.  But was it necessary to put this film in modern times and set here on Earth?

In this movie we’re told that Predators have been visiting this planet for thousands of years, and they are the reason why the ancient civilizations worshipped and built advanced pyramids to honor them.  Yet, oddly enough, there have never been any references to those Predators in any pyramid around the world.  Neither have any bones or fossilized remains of the Aliens ever been found or noted, around or inside of those same pyramids.  If the Predators have been using pyramids like those as hunting games as a rite of passage, how come there’s basically no evidence of any of that?  Some pyramid somewhere would have had some evidence, whether it was in the form of bones, fossilized remains, remnants of broken weapons, or tales of the creatures in hieroglyphics.

But there’s none of that.

Here the movie acts like this has been going on for thousands of years, yet we know from real history that there hasn’t been any evidence of that.  How are we supposed to take the film seriously when there’s such a glaring plot hole?  It’s not like Prometheus where the scientists found some ancient cave paintings and used that as a guide to travel to the stars to meet the creatures.

How about the part of the story where the Predators had to activate the pyramid’s heat signature to attract the attention of human beings?  Did that also work in 1904 (and 1804, 1704, etc.) with those people, or was it more of a coincidence that some people (whale hunters in the case of 1904) were already at the site when the Predators arrived for their hunting game?

That’s just sloppy storytelling.

That island off the coast of Antarctica has been buried with ice for not just hundreds but over a thousand of years.  How in the world did the Predators use the temple if people from earlier than 1904 most likely weren’t within a thousand miles of that place?  A humongous layer of ice doesn’t simply develop overnight, even well south of the Antarctic Circle.

I’ll accept that it was a coincidence for the people at the whaling station in 1904 to have been at the wrong place at the wrong time.  The Predators shot their laser hole through the ice, the workers were curious and explored it, and that sealed their fate.  But in the case of the story’s events in 2004, that really doesn’t matter.  In reality, the Predators could have easily kidnapped a bunch of human beings from any small town around the world, placed them inside of the pyramid to act as hosts for the Aliens, and then had their hunting party. But nooooooo.  For this story apparently the Predators wanted to attract only the most observant of human beings to the temple by activating a heat signature buried under a ton of ice, not that it actually mattered for the rest of the story.  Had the Weyland satellite not passed over Antarctica, those Predators would have been screwed.

Those are just some of the problems with the story for Alien vs. Predator.  Don’t get me started on that terrible sequence with the self-destruct mechanism and the “race” back to the surface, or using the Alien’s body parts to make weapons.  The Alien’s head as a shield?  Really?

In reality, that Predator would have killed Alexa and then most likely have died outside of the pyramid during the explosion of the self-destruct mechanism.  The remaining Predators in the spaceship would have then easily killed the Alien Queen.

Case closed.

I think that Alien vs. Predator would have been a much better movie if it was set in the near-future and somewhere besides Earth.  Being set on a spaceship would have been fine, or on a distant planet as well.  They could have still fit the events in the story with the general storyline with the Alien and Predator movies.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) – movie trailer

Alien vs. Predator works best when you shut off your brain and just enjoy this as an action film.  Don’t think about the details or you’ll become angry.  This movie is fast-paced and there are plenty of action scenes with the Aliens and Predators.

two-and-a-half stars

Adele Rousseau – “What did you say this room was called?”
[an Alien egg hatches]
Thomas – “Sacrificial chamber.”

—————————–

Sebastian de Rosa – “When that door opens, we’re dead.”
Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods – “Not if we set things right.”
Sebastian de Rosa – “What do you mean?”
Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods – “This pyramid, it’s like a prison. We took the guards’ guns, and now the prisoners are running free. To restore order, the guards need their guns.”