Book Review – Seth Grahame-Smith’s “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter”

Today I finished reading Seth Grahame-Smith‘s alternate portrayal of President Abraham Lincoln in Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.

What if the history of America included a secret society of vampires?

And what if one of America’s most prolific vampires was none other than Abraham Lincoln?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter is a biography of President Lincoln and how he became one of history’s greatest vampire hunters.  The story is told as a retelling of Lincoln’s secret journal, a series of writings that go into detail about how he first came into contact with vampires, how he learned how to fight (and kill) them, and how his obsession with killing vampires helped push him to lead the country through the American Civil War.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter begins with a store owner and part-time writer receiving a mysterious package from Henry Sturges, one of his regular customers.  It turns out that the package contains several volumes of a secret journal written by Abraham Lincoln, the man who became the 16th President of the United States and led the country through the American Civil War.

And the journal is all about Abraham’s obsession and passion for hunting down and killing vampires.

Abraham’s knowledge of vampires begins at a young age when his father, Thomas Lincoln, tells his son that vampires are real, not the subject of myths and fantasies.  Thomas tells his 6-year-old son about how his father (Abraham’s grandfather, also named Abraham Lincoln) was really killed by vampires back in 1786.

Not long after learning the true reason for his grandfather’s death, young Abraham overhears that his father is in debt to a man named Jack Barts.  It was really Jack Barts who took his revenge against his father’s debt by killing wife, Abraham’s mother, Nancy Lincoln.  After her death Abraham Lincoln swore to kill as many vampires as possible.  Three years later he would get his revenge against Jack Barts by luring him to his father’s home and then killing him by stabbing him in the chest with a wooden stake.

Abraham then continues to build his muscles and improve his skill of accurately throwing a sharpened axe.  The axe would later become Abraham’s primary weapon when fighting and killing vampires.  He would become good enough to throw an axe with deadly precision against moving targets.

Not long after killing Jack Barts, Abraham is continually keeping an eye out for more vampires to kill.  One night he gets word of a possible vampire travelling down the Ohio River.  Abraham investigates the sighting and discovers a female vampire.  He tries to attack the vampire, but he’s not good enough to defeat her.  The female vampire subdues Abraham and tries to drown him in the river, but she’s suddenly attacked and killed.  Abraham’s saviour is Henry Sturges, another vampire.

The attack from the female vampire left Abraham badly wounded, so Henry carried him back to his underground house.  There, Henry helped nurse Abraham back to health.  At first Abraham was furious with a vampire of all people trying to help him, but after a few days he opens his mind and allows for Henry to tell him his story.

It turns out that Henry was a regular person just like anybody else.  In fact, he was one of the settlers in the Roanoke Colony, the infamous “Lost Colony,” in 1585.  Henry had a young wife who was pregnant with their child.  Life in the colony changed when a vampire (disguised as a doctor) began attacking the colonists.  Instead of killing Henry, the vampire made Henry drink blood so that he would also turn into a vampire and become immortal, a curse worse than the thought of death.

Henry explains to Abraham that although immortal, most vampires tend to live for around 300 years.  During the first hundred years they do much of their killing and loot their victims’ possessions, amassing a small fortune in the process.  Then the vampires tend to spend the next hundred or so years improving their minds by reading as much literature as possible, and also touring the world.  After the vampires have reached their limits on personal enlightenment, many of them turn to suicide as a means of ending it all.

It turns out that over time, most vampires adjust to sunlight and can handle the sun’s rays touching their skin.  This allows them to wander the streets in the daylight and acting like normal people.  The only difference is that they have to wear dark sunglasses as their eyes cannot handle the bright amount of light.

Although cursed, many vampires just want to be left alone to live as they please.  Not all of them hunt and torture human beings for the fun of it.  As Abraham learns, Henry is one such vampire.

After learning about vampires and Henry’s personal story, Abraham forms a friendship with him.  He recovers from his wounds and Henry teaches Abraham how to track, hide from and fight vampires.  After a short while Abraham is back on his own, though he writes letters and stays in contact with Henry.  When responding, Henry provides Abraham with the names and locations of vampires that need to be killed.

That’s how Abraham Lincoln learned to expertly track and fight vampires as a young man.  His quest for vengeance would reach another milestone after he takes a trip down the Mississippi River (while transporting goods for a family friend), and he witnesses a slave auction.  A mysterious buyer purchases several undesirable slaves (old and young men and women).  When Abe follows the slaves to their new home, he’s shocked to discover a pair of vampires killing the slaves and drinking their blood.  As long as vampires can purchase human beings like that, then they’ll always have that ultimate source of food.  The discovery instantly makes Abraham Lincoln an abolitionist, a characteristic that would earn him the presidency and help lead the Federal soldiers through the Civil War.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter continues with more events in Abe’s life and how they’re been intermittently connected with vampires.  This includes the death of his first fiancée, Ann Rutledge.  Over time, Abraham gets involved with law and starts a law firm, becomes a Representative from the state of Illinois, meets and marries Mary Todd, has a family, and, ultimately, gets elected as President of the United States of America.

The election of Abraham Lincoln as President starts a chain reaction of southern states seceding from the Union and forming the Confederate States of America.  Lincoln quickly authorizes the creation of a large army to subdue the rebellion, and the confederates form their army as well.  This isn’t merely a war to keep the country as a whole.  For Lincoln, this is a personal matter as a large number of vampires are fighting for the Confederacy.  This a war about ending the vampires’ lifestyle here in America.  It’s a war that he will win at no matter the cost.

The Union wins the war and Lincoln receives reports of the remaining vampires fleeing to South America and Asia, places where they won’t be hunted.  However, not all of the evil vampires have fled from the country.  A vampire named John Wilkes Booth manages to assassinate President Abraham Lincoln while he, his wife, and two of their colleagues are attending a play at Ford’s Theatre.  Booth flees from the mob and escapes into Virginia, but it’s not long before he’s surrounded while hiding in a barn.  It’s not the burning fire that finally kills John Wilkes Booth, but rather another vampire named Henry Sturges.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter ends in 1963 as Henry attends Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.‘s famous “I Have a Dream” speech in Washington, D.C.  Standing next to him is Abraham Lincoln.  It’s implied that Henry managed to turn Lincoln into a vampire shortly after his assassination as some people are just too fascinating to die.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Is Seth Grahame-Smith’s Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter a good book?

I liked this story.

This was nice and bloody, it had an interesting vision of life in America in the early 1800s, and the concept of Abraham Lincoln being a secret vampire hunter was simply fascinating.  The way that the quotes from Lincoln’s secret journal were written, one has to wonder how many of the quotes were real.  It’s obvious that anything mentioning vampires specifically was written for this book, but it seems possible that many of the other quotes, the ones talking about events and life in general, could have really been written by Abraham Lincoln.

It makes you want to go back and research parts of the President’s life.  Of course, while doing so, it’ll be difficult not to chuckle and think of the events in terms of Lincoln getting payback against vampires.

The first half of this book is where you’ll find most of the action and bloodshed.  That’s when Lincoln learns how to fight vampires, he makes a few friends and takes them hunting with him, and he makes a name for himself as a fighter.  That’s also when he explores the countryside and makes a few journeys down some rivers.

The second half of the book is a little bit slower as Abe begins his law business, marries Mary Todd, and serves in Congress and the Presidency.  There’s a little more action when vampires try to target him while he’s living in the White House.  We also read a little bit of the combat in the Civil War along with vampires targeting and torturing Union soldiers.  While Abraham is President, others are out there killing vampires on his behalf.  When Lincoln became a father he vowed not to go out fighting and possible get himself killed, leaving his wife a widow and his children fatherless.

In the end, this is still a fun story involving an alternate look at President Lincoln.  If you appreciate American history then you’ll probably enjoy the dark humor behind it a little bit more.