Archive for January, 2012

Burger Magic Patty Press — A Marketing Review

The afternoon sun is bearing down on your patio as the charcoal continues to heat, coming up to temperature.

The grill is almost ready for cooking.

Inside the house, you’re still in the kitchen preparing the food.

Tonight’s meal:  hamburgers

Cook time:  4-6 minutes

Prep time:  way . . . too . . . long

It turns out that the hamburger meat isn’t quite cooperating and the hamburger patties look like globs of Play-Doh.  Oh, if only there was a kitchen product to help make quick and easy hamburger patties.  This is just way too complicated!

According to a recent TV commercial, such a product has just entered the marketplace.  Say hello to Burger Magic!

Burger Magic website — www.TryBurgerMagic.com

Can it be?

Did somebody create a kitchen product that helps you make circular and uniform burger patties? Read more…

An Obsession With Elevators

Over the past few years I’ve noticed an interesting trend involving people and the use of elevators (lifts as you guys call them in England).

People love elevators.

People go out of their way to use elevators.

People will wait in line and voluntarily cram into an elevator.

And, oddly enough, people will gladly do this over and over again, even if there are stairs or working escalators right next to the elevator.  Most people want to ride the elevator.

Is it just me, or is this trend a bit disturbing?

The observations first started a few years ago when my dad got his electric power chair.  It’s not one of those Hoverounds or Medicaid provided chairs that you see on TV, but a different one instead.  That part doesn’t matter.  My dad has a rare neurological disease that has been crippling his walking ability for many years, and the power chair is his tool for getting out in the world.  Nonetheless, it’s been a living hell seeing him become more and more disabled from something completely out of his control.

I like to help him whenever possible, even going out to shopping malls and running errands.  And it’s being with him that I get to experience a different perspective of everyday life.  Everything from getting help from sales clerks to the importance of keeping clear paths around food tables to even finding and using elevators is an alternate perspective when traveling with him. Read more…

Book Review — Tom Clancy’s “Op-Center”

Today I finished reading the first book in Tom Clancy’s thrilling series, Op-Center.

Written and set in the mid 1990s, Op-Center is a brand new and experimental government agency that has the skilled operatives to handle those jobs deemed too risky or too controversial for other agencies.  If there’s an imminent crisis involving the United States or its allies, then the Op-Center crew will be there to monitor and solve it.

This first Op-Center book begins with an outdoor speech and rally for reunification between North and South Korea.  The event itself gathers a large crowd and even a former U.S. ambassador.  And just when things seem to be running smoothly, a car bomb is detonated, killing scores and injuring hundreds more.  It’s complete carnage.  Amongst the dead is the ex-ambassador’s Korean wife.

Initial evidence places the blame on North Korean terrorists, but as the evidence grows, it becomes clearer that the real enemy behind the attack may be a lot closer to home.  But the attack at the reunification rally was just the start.  Another target is in sight, and if the terrorists aren’t stopped, then the whole Korean Peninsula may explode in all-out war. Read more…

Justice Coin – 9/11 & SEAL Team Six Commemorative Coin — A Marketing Review

Over ten years ago our world and way of life was changed forever when radical terrorists brutally hijacked airliners and used them as weapons in suicide attacks.

Two airliners crashed into the World Trade Center Twin Towers in New York City, another hit the Pentagon in the outskirts of Washington, D.C., and a fourth crashed into a field in Pennsylvania as the passengers heroically fought the hijackers and made sure that their airliner, Flight 93, wouldn’t be used as another weapon.

Thousands of innocent people died in the initial attacks.

Hundreds of millions of people around the world have been touched in some way, shape or form.

Nine and a half years later, Osama bin Laden, the figurehead of al-Qaeda and the world’s most wanted terrorist, met his demise when the warriors of the elite and highly classified (That’s why we’re all talking about it, right?) SEAL Team Six paid his home a visit.  Using state-of-the-art helicopters and training, the commandos made a daring nighttime raid and ended his reign, killing him and capturing his body.  The Navy SEALs also acquired an untold amount of data that is still being used in the War on Terror, errr, Overseas Contingency Operation.

So how do you commemorate such an occasion?

According to one company, a special commemorative souvenir could do the trick.  A . . . JUSTICE COIN!

Justice Coin website — www.JusticeCoin.com

Yes, just such an item does exist. Read more…

Gray Away Hair Root Concealer — A Marketing Review

Don’t you just hate it when a massive area of gray hair suddenly becomes visible in the parting of your hairline?

Don’t you just wish that there was an easy and cheap way to temporarily hide it, making the coloring look natural in the end?

Wouldn’t you like to give the middle finger to those pricy salons who actually charge you money to style your hair?

Can cats and dogs really read our minds?

Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was something resembling a can of spray paint that could quickly and magically turn your gray hair roots into the same color as the rest of your hair?

Did somebody say spray paint?

Wait.  What was that?  Something that looks like spray paint and changes the color of your hair’s roots?

Gray Away official website — www.GrayAway.com

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with Gray Away.

A little while ago I saw a product advertisement that looked exactly like that last question — something looking like spray paint that colored gray roots in your hair.  Then again, that “little while ago” was also the last time I noticed the commercial on television.

Before I go any further, it’s best if you visit the official Gray Away website and see the TV commercial.  Right now the commercial is only available on the company’s website and not other sites like YouTube.

Did you see the commercial?  Great!  Let’s start discussing the website and TV commercial.  If you lied and didn’t really see the commercial, take the couple of minutes and go see it, smack yourself in the head for lying not only to me but also yourself, and then proceed with the rest of this article.

Ready? Read more…

Lint Lizard Dryer Lint Remover — A Marketing Review

The other night (I know, I know.  It’s always “The other day . . . ” or “The other night . . . ”  I need to find a better way to start some of these articles.) I saw a TV commercial for something called the Lint Lizard, a vacuum hose attachment designed to help remove the lint from your clothes dryer’s vent.

As we all should know, the buildup of dryer lint is a serious problem for many people.  Yes, you should clean the lint screen after each load of clothes in the dryer, and yes, you should periodically clean the rest of the dryer vent and keep that airway as clean as possible.

After fighting the evil forces of laziness and procrastination, is there some sort of tool to better help clean the vent and remove that nasty lint?  Is there really such a miracle product, or am I better off jamming a stick into the lint and scooping it out that way?

Check out the TV commercial for Lint Lizard and see it for yourself.

Lint Lizard TV commercial (NOTE – This is a slightly older version of the current TV commercial.)

Is this just a simple hose with an attachment, or is there more to the story of the Lint Lizard?

Let’s take a closer look at the Lint Lizard’s website and TV commercial and see if we can find anything interesting.

Lint Lizard official website — www.LintLizard.com

The official website for Lint Lizard (Why do I want to keep calling it ‘Lizard Lint’?) is really simple and doesn’t go into a whole lot of detail.  In fact, there’s not even a clear picture of the product on the website.  Instead we see a bunch of text talking all about the features and benefits of using the Lint Lizard, and a few small pictures showing the product in action.  Is this how you’re supposed to construct a sales page these days? Read more…

Book Review — Raymond Khoury’s “The Last Templar”

The other day I finished reading Raymond Khoury’s mystery / adventure story, The Last Templar.

Set in both modern and ancient times, The Last Templar readers follow along as a daring art museum robbery turns into a quest to seek a religious artifact important enough to literally change the world overnight.

The story begins in 1291 after the Ninth Crusade as the Holy Land is falling to the Muslims.  A couple of Knights Templar are fleeing the besieged city, carrying with them a mysterious chest.  Their ship sails into a terrible storm and vanishes.

Jumping ahead to today, the main part of The Last Templar begins in New York City at the Metropolitian Museum of Art.  It’s the night of the big unveiling of an exhibition full of Vatican artifacts.  It’s also the night where four people dressed as Knights Templar storm the event while on horseback, using broadswords and Uzi light machine guns to kill and terrorize the crowds.  The attacks make off with an ancient encryption device, leaving a trail of death and casualties in their wake. Read more…

Sticky Buddy Reusable Lint Roller — A Marketing Review

Can it be?

Back-to-back marketing reviews for reusable lint rollers?

Yes, folks, it’s true.  Your eyes are not deceiving you.  A challenger to the Schticky has officially entered the battlefield.

Literally a day after publishing the article about the Schticky, I saw a late night TV commercial (No sane person would continually stay up late and actually pay attention to TV commercials . . .) starring the English-born pitchman, Anthony Sullivan.  He began his spiel and all of a sudden I had a feeling of deja vu.  Sullivan’s product (as if you don’t already know where this is heading) was for the Sticky Buddy — a washable, reusable lint roller.

A washable, reusable lint roller?  Really?  Again?  Ummm, really?!?

Yeah.  Deal with it.  At least you’re not the one trying to make this article different enough from the previous one to make it an entertaining read.

Take note that neither the Schticky or Sticky Buddy was the first of this type of lint roller to hit the market.  These washable and still sticky lint rollers have been around for ages.  Somebody up there in The Powers That Be decided to cast the product again in a new light, most likely hoping to stir interest in it with a new generation.

Here and now, in the dawn of 2012, TWO washable, reusable lint rollers are back in the spotlight.  There is room for only one at the top.  We already heard the story of the Schticky.  Now it’s time to see the Sticky Buddy.

In the words of Al Bundy, “Let’s rock.” Read more…

Schticky Reusable Lint Roller — A Marketing Review

Look out, world!

VINCE OFFER IS BACK!

Just when you thought that the ShamWow! guy and Mr. Slap Chopper was banished from television after his infamous altercation with a prostitute in Miami back in 2009, Vince has returned with a brand new product commercial!

This time around Vince takes on lint rollers and pitches a washable and reusable lint roller known as a Schticky.  A Schticky?  Really?  Sch’Wheat!

WATCH! As Vince expertly demonstrates the product.

LISTEN! To his non-stop tirade about why you should buy the Schticky.

LAUGH! As Vince pokes fun at his own mug shot.

GASP! As Vince uses yet another double entendre, almost daring the FCC to end his commercials.

Schticky official website — www.schticky.com

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you . . . . . the Schticky!

The Schticky reusable lint roller TV commercial

Was that just awesome or what?

Let’s take a closer look at this TV commercial and see just what Vince is trying to sell us this time. Read more…

Advertising For Bounce TV — Is It Racial Segregation?

Over the past few days I’ve been seeing advertisements for the new Bounce TV “TV Our Way” channel, a free, over the airways TV network designed for and managed by black Americans.

But when seeing the advertisements and looking at the channel’s slogan, isn’t the advertising a bit like segregation and apartheid?  It lets you know who the target audience is in a very clear and direct method.

Now don’t get me wrong here.  I don’t have any problems with certain TV channels being geared towards certain races, beliefs or organizations.  What people want to do with their own time and money is up to them.  When it comes to watching TV, if I don’t like a particular show or channel, then the remote allows me to continue channel surfing.

But when a company (or TV network in this case) advertises itself as a channel by black people for black people (including the semi-arrogant slogan “TV Our Way”), isn’t that borderline racism towards the black audience?  Couldn’t they have used any other way to advertise the new TV network without getting into a person’s race?

Bounce TV official website — www.BounceTV.com

Take a look at one of the TV commercials and see for yourself.  More of them will be shown and discussed in just a moment.

Bounce TV promotional campaign

The Bounce TV advertisement is reaching for its target audience, which as mentioned before is black people in general.  Specifically, the channel is targeting black people between 25-54 years of age with its programming.  But to go out and publicly advertise the fact that it’s a black TV channel designed for black viewers, that race-related method is the subject of this discussion. Read more…

Racist Practices By The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC)

Earlier today there was an Associated Press about how Pepsi Beverages had to pay $3.1 million in settlement fees from a racial bias case with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

Pepsi’s crime?

Conducting criminal background checks and eliminating job applicants because of arrests and/or criminal convictions in their history.  Doing so just happened to “. . . disproportionally exclude more than 300 black applicants.”

According to the news article, Pepsi, of course, is re-evaluating its hiring policy and looking at job recruits on a more “individual” basis.  Never mind the fact that the news article claimed that “. . . the EEOC did not find any intentional discrimination.”  The problem with the EEOC is that those people who were “disproportionally” excluded because of their criminal background just happened to be black.

Whoops!

We can’t have that now, can we?

Just because a person gets arrested and/or convicted of crimes, that shouldn’t have anything to do with telling an employer about a person’s character and if they would be a good candidate for the job, right?

And if a large number of minorities are excluded from jobs because employers look at their arrest records in addition to their skills, and not hiring them because of criminal and character issues, then the employers are being racist, right? Read more…

Apple iPhone 4S Siri — Is It Good or Evil?

By now you’re probably seen at least one of the new TV commercials for Siri, a voice recognition feature and electronic personal assistant application for the Apple iPhone 4S.

When watching the TV commercials and seeing the information on Apple’s website, a different perspective comes to mind.  Sure, it’s great to have evolving and innovative technology at such an impressive development rate, but is this particular advancement really appropriate for the general public?

I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, so go ahead and check out the TV commercial and we’ll discuss it one step at a time.

Apple iPhone 4S Siri TV commercial

After watching the Apple iPhone 4S Siri commercial, such a product seems so sinister in more ways from one.  This ranges from the conspiracy theory of complete information domination to the dumbing down of America as a whole.

Let’s take a closer look at the TV commercial and see if it plays into conspiracy and even apocalyptic fears. Read more…

Pillow Pets Dream Lites — A Marketing Review

It’s no secret that many children are afraid of the dark.

From bogeymen in the closet to monsters under the bed to those strange sounds from other rooms in the house, bed time can be a scary and unfortunately frightful time for children.  And adults.  And the fish in my aquarium.  At least kids can hide under sheets and blankets if they get scared.  What are my fish going to do?  Hide behind some fake scenery?  That’s not nearly as comforting as a protective blanket.

So what can you do to help comfort a child’s fear of the dark?

“Take one step out of bed and your feet are MINE!  Ha, ha, ha!“

Nightlights are always a popular option.

So is a television or even a jar full of fireflies.  (NOTE — Fireflies need to be replenished each night or the effect stops working.)  With a little creativity and that parenting stuff, there are a variety of options that will help a child sleep better in a darkened room.

Those other options don’t really concern you, right?  You’re here because I’m going to discuss yet another cheesy commercial that I saw recently on TV.  And it’s fun.  Well, at least fun for me.  You’re under no obligation whatsoever to laugh or even crack a smile.

Pillow Pets Dream Lites website — www.DreamLites.com

Getting back on topic, the other day I saw a TV commercial for something called a “Dream Lite” from the makers of the Pillow Pets.  The company claims that the Pillow Pets Dream Lite “helps alleviate fear of the dark.”  Check out the TV commercial on the company’s website and see for yourself if this sounds like a legitimate solution or not.

To me, it seems like the Dream Lite is more of a simple toy rather than useful child sleeping aid.  Let’s take a closer look at the commercial and see some examples. Read more…