Movie Review – Bad Santa (2003)

Christmas-themed movies are normally geared towards families, and they often have a pleasant view of Santa along with a happy ending.

Those types of movies generally shy away from violence, vulgar language, smoking / drinking, and sexual activity.  This is especially true if the movie involves Santa Claus as one of the main characters.

And then along comes 2003′s hit comedy movie, Bad Santa.  This film breaks every rule concerning Santa Claus and what not to put in a Christmas-themed movie.  Bad Santa is full of profanity, it has violence, there is some nudity, and the main character is a horrible role model for any child let alone the one in this movie.  When you add it all together, Bad Santa is one hilarious movie definitely made for the adult audience.

Bad Santa stars Billy Bob Thornton as Willie T. Stokes, an alcoholic robber who poses as Santa Claus in department stores.  Tony Cox plays the role of Marcus, Willie’s helper elf and accomplice with the robberies.  Supporting them are Lauren Graham as Willie’s girlfriend, John Ritter as the mall’s manager, Bernie Mac as the mall’s security chief, Brett Kelly as the Kid, and Cloris Leachman as Kid’s senile grandmother.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

Bad Santa begins on Christmas Eve as Willie T. Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton) and Marcus (Tony Cox) are working in a department store.  Willie clearly has no respect for his job (or himself for that matter) as he verbally abuses the children and proceeds to drink some alcohol.  Willie leaves with the last of the customers as the store closes for Christmas Eve.  Marcus, disguised as a snowman, runs over and quickly disables the security alarm before it’s activated by the guard.  He lets a drunk Willie back into the store, and the two of them rob the place and collect over $100,000.

Willie, Marcus and Lois (Marcus’ girlfriend; played by Lauren Tom) go to a bar to celebrate their successful heist.  Willie tells Marcus his dream of taking his share of the money and heading down to Miami to open his own bar.  Marcus laughs and tells Willie that it won’t work and he’ll be thankful to work as Santa again for next Christmas.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

Several months pass and we see that Willie is working a beachside bar down in tropical Miami, Florida.  Things seem well until we discover that he doesn’t actually work there and the bar’s real owner kicks him out.  We also learn that Willie is a constant drunk who frequents strip clubs and stays in trouble with people.  When Marcus leaves a phone message telling Willie to bring his Santa Claus suit to Phoenix, Arizona, Willie does so.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

Willie and Marcus meet with Saguaro Square shopping mall manager Bob Chipeska (John Ritter), and he hires them to play the role of Santa Claus and an elf.  Bob Chipeska is clearly uncomfortable with Willie’s vulgarity, and he expresses this concern to the mall’s security chief, Gin Slagel (Bernie Mac).

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

It’s first day on the new job, and Willie is drunk and nearly passed out as children are waiting in line to see Santa Claus.  Marcus makes Willie get up and see to the children so that they won’t be fired.  Meanwhile, a pudgy boy (Brett Kelly) arrives and has to go past a group of teenage bullies so that he can talk to Santa.  Willie starts to get suspicious as the boy (who he simply calls Kid) continues to ask him questions about the elves and living at the North Pole.

That night after the mall closes, Willie heads to a local bar and makes friends with Sue (Lauren Graham), a female bartender.  They head outside and have sex in Willie’s car.  Afterwards, Sue tells Willie that she was really turned on by his Santa costume and wants to see him again, which he agrees.  Willie is then attacked by one of the bar’s patrons and Kid comes to his rescue.  Willie thanks Kid by giving him a ride back to his house.  The whole way there, Kid asks “Santa” all kinds of questions about his sleigh and the reindeer and everything else, driving Willie nuts.  He accuses Kid of screwing with his mind.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

Kid invites Willie (who he constantly calls Santa) into his home and introduces him to his grandmother (Cloris Leachman).  Willie learns that it’s only Kid and his senile grandmother living in the mansion.  Kid’s mother is dead and his dad is “out on an adventure exploring mountains.”  We later learn that his dad is serving time in prison for embezzlement.  Willie checks out Kid’s mansion, robs his dad’s safe, and then “borrows” his dad’s expensive BMW.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

Back at the mall, Marcus is becoming infuriated with Willie driving a high profile car, staying drunk, verbally abusing the children, and being flirtatious with the women.  Mall manager Bob Chipeska is growing more concerned about Willie’s behavior, so he asks the mall’s security chief to investigate him.  Gin poses as a security guard and raids Willie’s hotel room.  Willie sees this and gets spooked, so he decides to live with Kid and his grandmother for a few days.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

At home, Willie beings spending more time with Kid, from playing along with Kid’s Christmas activities to losing to him in the game of checkers.  In the mall, Willie’s behavior becomes more erratic and he goes as far as challenging a kid’s parent to try to get him fired.  Meanwhile, Gin continues with his investigation and learns the truth about Kid’s father being in prison, and that Willie and Marcus are career robbers.  Gin meets with Willie and Marcus and demands half of their loot after they rob the mall on Christmas Eve.  Willie and Marcus are blackmailed into agreeing to Gin’s terms.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

After being blackmailed by Gin, Willie’s attitude takes another turn for the worse.  He shows up at the mall drunker than ever and proceeds to destroy a nativity scene in front of horrified parents and children.  Gin has Marcus get Willie out of there so that he can cover for the scene.  The next day Willie tries to commit suicide from carbon monoxide poisoning by having his car’s engine running while sitting in the garage.  Kid arrives and Willie gives him a letter detailing the upcoming mall robbery, telling him to give it to the paramedics when they arrive.  Willie sees Kid’s black eye and changes his mind about committing suicide.  He heads out to the mall and beats the snot out of the teenage bully who attacked Kid.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

After taking care of the bully, Willie tries to teach Kid how to defend himself.  He has Marcus box with Kid in a boxing ring.  The fight lesson goes poorly and everybody ends up hitting each other in the balls.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

Willie has invited Sue to live with him in the mansion, and she poses as Santa’s wife’s sister to Kid.  Kid later shows Santa his report card from school, hoping to make him happy.  He then asks Santa for a pink stuffed elephant for Christmas.  That night, Marcus flags down Gin as he’s driving past them on a deserted road.  Marcus is posing as a distressed motorist, and when Gin reluctantly helps him restart his car, Lois runs her car into Gin, ultimately killing him.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

The mall robbery still takes place on Christmas Eve.  The safe is one of the toughest in the world, but Willie finally cracks it as Marcus robs the store and grabs items on Lois’ list.  Willie heads out to get a pink stuffed elephant for Kid, but when he returns he discovers that Marcus has a gun.  Marcus wants to kill Willie because he’s become so unreliable.  Just as he’s about to shoot him the Phoenix police department swarms the department store.  It’s apparent that Kid gave the police Willie’s letter from a few days ago and they’re acting upon the tip.  The Phoenix police chief (“Sheriff” John Bunnell) tells them to give themselves up for arrest, but Willie flees in his BMW.  Willie leads the police on a chase that ends at Kid’s house.  Willie is shot multiple times as he tries to take the stuffed elephant to Kid.

Bad Santa (2003) – (c) Dimension Film

We learn that Marcus and Lois were arrested and thrown in jail.  Willie survived his gunshots and was expected to make a full recovery.  It would be bad publicity for news of an unarmed Santa being shot by the police department in front of children, so the Phoenix police department covers the story and gives Willie a job as a sensitivity trainer within the department.  Sue is granted temporary custody of Kid until his father is released from jail.  Outside his house, Kid confronts the bully and shows us his new carefree attitude (and cool t-shirt) thanks to Willie.

So is Bad Santa a good movie?

As far as I’m concerned, Bad Santa is one of the funniest (and most vulgar) Christmas movies of all time.  Watching a censored version of this film is simply not acceptable.

To me, what makes Bad Santa such an enjoyable film is that this is the opposite of what Christmas movies should be.  This one is full of profanity, children get verbally abused by Santa, and there’s so much alcohol that watching the film may actually make a viewer slightly intoxicated.  The cast of actors is great, and Billy Bob Thornton in particular does a fantastic job playing the role of Willie / Santa Claus.

Yes, the film does have some flaws.  For example, security cameras and fingerprints would have identified Willie and Marcus from their first mall robbery years ago.  It’s doubtful that they would still be pulling the same scam after doing it for several years.  Another flaw is with Kid’s grandmother.  If the woman is so senile and out of reality, how have she and Kid survived while Kid’s father was locked up in jail?  There wasn’t a housekeeper to go grocery shopping, pay the bills, do the laundry, or keep the house clean and tidy.

Bad Santa (2003) – movie trailer

Despite the flaws, Bad Santa is still a very enjoyable film.  If you’re into the vulgar comedies, then this is an absolute must-see movie.  If the Christmas holiday is starting to get on your nerves, sit back and watch as Bad Santa destroys nearly everything sacred about the highly commercialized holiday.  Just be sure to send the kids away to bed BEFORE starting the movie.

Willie – “Well, what do you want?”  [the kid on his lap stares blankly at him]  “Great. Another f*cking Mongoloid. Marcus, get this kid off me before he p*sses on me, all right?” [the kid pulls on Santa’s beard] “Don’t f*ck with my beard.”
Kid – “It’s not real.”
Willie – “No sh*t.  Well, it was real, but you see I got sick and all the hair fell out, so I have to wear this f*cking thing.”
Kid – “How did you get sick?”
Willie – [thinks for a moment] “I loved a woman who wasn’t clean.”
Kid – “Mrs. Santa?”
Willie – “No, it was her sister.”

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This article was originally published at www.chamberofreviews.com on December 6, 2012.